Tuesday, October 9, 2007

The Journey.


Many who have followed my blog here would realise I have not been posting as regularly as I did previously. That is because, incredible and surprising developments had surfaced into my life, and with it; faith, hope and love. The kind that we always read about in 1 Corinthians 13. I believe I have found my life partner, a person to be with, to love and to be loved, that I had been seeking for so long.

It came at a time I had been tired of relationships, one by one it seems to crumble before me. And not men one can win my heart. Not one that would make me a better girl, all of them only left me with more bruises, pains and scars in my heart and my mind, so deep than anyone can possibly imagine. But that is in the past. Now, at every dawn I wake up too, somewhere out there, my true love is waiting. My true reflection. My refining fire and soothing ice to my aching heart and tormented soul.

I may have finally found someone to share my life with. Not that I would stop what I am doing though, but I am quite tied up with some silent goodbyes, returning people's loans, settling with banks and service providers, planning for medical check-up, going back to my hometown Ipoh, then to Thailand, then to Singapore etc etc... phew. A lot of stuff to plan and execute for the next one and a half months. And all provided for me by a sensitive, charming man. Yes, the Lord had provided me with a man.

I would probably be back to the average one post every two days which is my commitment here in this blogsite by December, a time I would be in a new place for two months with him, seeking to know more about this man, confirming my weary soul, washing away my deepest fears. And in Reflections Asia, I am waiting for one or two more authors for the site to get it alive and kicking. And he would be my partner and I am his, in combining our worlds together, advocating on behalf of our LGT brothers and sisters.

I am still trying to finish part two of 'When The Real Love Ministry Is Confused', and part three of 'The Bible Says So', for both blog sites. By the hits I have been getting for both topics, I believe everyone all around the world are ready for more. And where am I going? I do not wish to be secretive about it, but everytime I set my hopes it always seems to fall. So this time, I am keeping a silent hope. At every juncture, I will unveal something here. If everything goes well, there would be surprises for everyone, my parents, my TS sisters, my friends... and even Edmund Smith!

Nope. There had been a misunderstanding there, I had never been Edmund Smith's adversary, even though people commended me being one. I still owe a lot to him for further convicting and affirming me by his anti-transgender musings. In his negatives, I have found my positives. I wonder if he realise the impact he made in my life, so much so that I became an advocate for the LGT community.

In other words, if I had not met Edmund Smith, I would not have known about the dark world of the ex-gays and the musings of ex-gay ministries that is discriminative and prejudicial against transsexuals like me, the mind manipulation on churches by these biased ministries to incite hate and intolerance against homosexuals, and the use of political means by these groups to surpress the LGTs, even in Malaysia and Singapore. If I had not met him, there would not be a Yuki who would eventually be a counter voice. And stronger and stronger a counter voice I am becoming. So I am really grateful and thankful for him.

I will always be around here. Unless something drastic happens to me of course. But god willing, this blog will be the channel in which I will share my life in the coming years. But with all the mostly moody and sad posts, it is my hope that in the future, I can post positive and delightful happenings in my life, and also of the community around me. As I partake in these small and meaningful steps, and steps that may eventually lead me finally to a true direction in my life, someone awaits for me. And something tells me, this time, it is for real. YukiChoe, now has a boyfriend. She now belongs to someone. Let us see where Yuki lands on and ends up next.

1 comment:

hOcmun said...

am glad, to hear that you're on a different stage of life.
may God continue to show you love, through whatever you're doing. :D