Wednesday, February 27, 2008
I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Fallwell and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. Well, I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. It follows below:
6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 PM Brunch
1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local Governments as well as all other national governments,
2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle,
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages,
4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels,
5) Establish planetary chain of homo breeding gulags where over-medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership,
6) bulldoze all houses of worship, and
7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.
2:30 PM Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest
4:00 PM Cocktails
6:00 PM Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
8:00 PM Theater
11:00 PM Bed (du jour)"
The Sex Reassignment Surgery brings with it a new life. For me it is something spiritual, it is like coming home. Or as my friend joked of that Britney song in relations to me, 'I am not a girl, not yet a woman'; but all Yuki needs is not time, but getting the mutated growth out of her. Yes, my satisfaction would be all complete. I would have no shame in going to female spas, and I shall walk proudly out on the streets with hot pants and the T-back underneath it. My joy will be complete.
And with it a husband to share it with. I am removing a biological chastity belt and will be having a sex life with someone that had shown tremendous love, affection and sacrifice for me. I will be able to swim in a bikini or swimsuit without anymore shame. In some Asian countries like Thailand, having that 'thing' taken off is the symbol of coming of age into womanhood. I am finally alive.
Perhaps many do not understand why a person like me wishes to go for it. My Credo brother actually questioned me of my self acceptance. He said if I really accepted myself, I do not need to remove it. But I threw back the answer, something I was incapable of doing two years ago. I told him, that as I can never understand homosexuals 100% how matter I research because of the lack of real time life on it, he can never understand a transsexual. We just had to do what is right and just.
He reminded me again that I can never be a real girl. I beg to differ. With everything from my heart and mind motivations to God, to my psychological and human spirit, I had always been a girl. In fact I never even come close to being half of a boy, instead I had always been closer to who I am. As all the memories of people, from churches to friends trying to define a manhood into me subside, along with the decades of hurt; I am finally happy in my shell heading towards the future.
All the fixations of sex organs as a gender marker can be thrown away now as I am no longer confused. A man with two dicks do not turn him into a superman. A man losing a dick to cancer do not make him less of a man. A woman having being born without the ability to have a child do not make her a man. A woman having small breasts do not make her less than a woman. Likewise, the sexual organ I am getting is just an identification imprint below. I understand now that I am female.
With this huge physiological change coming in a few months time, I did a lot of reflections into my past life, the struggles of trying to be what people want me to be, letting people define who I am, even now at the midst of the comfort I have being myself these days. But I realised I am a much stronger person now and I do not need to seek people's attention and approval anymore. I do not need to live by anyone's standards. I will never let myself be intimidated by transphobics anymore.
Perhaps it is fitting that I finally got to watch 'Beautiful Boxer' on Astro Kirana. It is really an amazing story based on true events of Nong Tum. Although my life would never be so spectacular like hers, and I could not even jog for more than 5 rounds around the park (let alone deliver knock out Muay Thai punches like her); everyone of us transsexuals would have our own stories to tell, lives to live, stuffs to face. All of us are going through dangers in our lives but we must hang on.
I am looking forward so much to the 'cutting' point of my transition. By the long winded tone of this post you should know I am thrilled to bits. Of course I could never imagine the impact of waking up realising the abnormal growth is gone, or even the pain that might ensue. I am hoping to get internet access at the hospital and hotel so that I could have a daily updates of what is happening an keep my writing up to date. In the meantime; my heartful thanks for those who had accepted the lady I am.
Friday, February 22, 2008
My diet plan went bust after I dragged myself to the outpatient clinic at Kelana Jaya Medical Centre for liver inflammation and gastric. Thanks to that, my weight is not going to go down anytime soon now. With great dismay I had gained another kilo, and stuck with a sick liver that will take at least another three weeks to heal. With my birthday coming up in a month's time, this means of course I would probably still have this almost 80kg plus frame going into the 32nd year of my lifetime.
My parents are still not accepting of me. Not that I am bothered, but in the end in our lifetime we would only have one set of parents. I love them, even though they feel shame that their 'son' had become their daughter. They are afraid that their neighbours would find out and start gossiping. My friend told me in an Asian culture, a boy that 'wishes' to be a girl is a shame to the family. But I really wonder when is it a shame to just be yourself. Guess ignorance still breeds intolerance.
I am missing my husband in Australia. He had given me so much, a life for that matter, in such a short period in time. He is validating day by day my choice to marry him. Today, he even sms-ed me and told me how he wished I was by his side. In the turmoil of living in a society that just do not wish to understand transsexuals, I know I must go back to him soon. And I know he will be waiting in these few months for me to be by his side again. Our temporary separation had been hard on us.
I spend this season worrying about my car. It is a liability, but being an emotional creature that I am I chose to painstakingly protect it at all costs for its sentimental value. With my car, I had gone through so many adventures. I spent a good time between festivities trying to settle my summons and insurance, which took weeks, in order to get my road tax done. It was only finalized yesterday. Now I still have to wait for my friend the road tax to me, so there is more waiting to be done.
And all of the spending; giving 'red packets' for the season, rescuing a friend, summons with insurance and road tax for my car, my first HRT in months and others had burnt a big bad hole in my pocket. Not that I am concerned, because I still have my two meals a day and the occasional drink; but I really want to save money for any rainy days that may come. I had learned from past experiences of being totally flat broke, so being back to that situation is a real no no for me, ever!
Surely things would turn around, I told myself. Every since I started writing professional articles for Ex-Gay Watch, I find it difficult to maintain both my personal blogsite and Reflections Asia. Then, as fate would allow it, one of my lesbian friends dropped in to the Reflections site and now I may have finally found a writing partner. And I finally had the time to get this post done today. And today, the last day of the Chinese New year season, things just suddenly got better and better.
I hung out with Eddy, a good friend of mine who had been one of the core support for me. He had virtually seen me grow from the troubled young confused 30 something year old and blossom into the person that is called Vivienne now. He had commented this evening that I had come a long way, no longer being insecure and troubled in my own self anxieties and the hurt of having people define who I am. And the invitation to dine accompanied by his boyfriend, brings out a gigantic surprise.
His boyfriend knows someone that I had known for half of my life, amounting to 16 years. Holding back the tears, trying to be cool as I spoke to her after a three year separation, I am finally reunited to the first person I ever called my sister. She is the only friend I had in those year back in high school when I was still struggling with myself. It really feels ultra good to hear her voice on the line again. And I finally get to face her as who I am. It is like my entire nervous system had been healed.
Gosh, how things can change within one day. Life is really ironic sometimes. My Chinese New year season ended on a high note after all. Hope that you all had a beautiful Chap Goh Meh too. Ditto.
Friday, February 1, 2008
It is true! The Gay Agenda is ever so close to its formation and execution, even at Singapore!
Pleinelune, off Sayoni Speaks:
I’m going to let you guys in on a secret: all the rumours about the Gay Agenda are absolutely true. Every last word. In my hands I have the Masterplan of the Gay Community, otherwise known as Gaytopia 2050, hardcopy edition. I’ve obtained these plans from the headquarters of Homopolis, located somewhere in between the end of the rainbow and the pot of gold. It wasn’t easy sneaking it out, as I had to get past a couple of flamboyant queens who insisted on giving me makeup tips, and a whole army of dancing gay men who wouldn’t let me pass until I Flaunted it. And then there was the perilous trip across the oily and slippery room of diesel dykes, and the final barrier: walking through the Hall of Decadence.
Before the queens in high heels descend on me with their featherboas, I am going to give you all a sneakpeak in to the Masterplan, planned to the second, till 2050.
Top Ten Goals to be achieved by 2050
- Outlaw straight sex - heterosexuality is an affront to our morals and repugnant to a small minority of society who insists on stripping other people of their rights in order to feel good about themselves, even though their rights are not affected.
- Outlaw straight marriage - straight people will destroy the institution of marriage with their rising divorce rates, partner abuse, adultery, exploitation of children, sexual violence against women and children [what if fathers rape their daughters?!]. It is not safe for our children to grow up in a stable two-parent household, even though they are loving and caring, because it is inherently bad for them to have parents of different sexes. There are no studies to prove this, but it is true because we say so!
- Anyone who admits he or she is straight will be discharged from the army, and made ineligible to donate blood. Even though, really, orientation has nothing do with either of these things, but who cares?
- Encourage a culture of intolerance, where parents disown straight children if they ever come out to you. It is always shameful when your child grows up to be a healthy productive individual in society but isn’t fucking whom you want him to fuck. If technology is advanced enough, find the straight gene and abort straight foetuses before birth. Better yet, manipulate their genes in-utero.
- Make it compulsory to dismiss straight individuals in high-ranking positions in the government and MNCs, because apparently the thought of them fucking someone of the opposite sex is too much to bear for the people who interact with them or work under them.
- Dismiss straight teachers - they might prey on the children!
- Make life hell for straight activists. Monitor their activities, and ban their events, especially if they involve picnics, a run, or an exhibition.
- Slap R21 ratings on movies which dare to suggest that straight people are happy and normal too. Or ban them completely. Tell the media they are not supposed to print or show anything which “celebrates” heterosexuality.
- Send straight people into rehabilitation camps, where they will learn to renounce their abnormal heterosexual tendencies and learn to love people of the same sex, the way they were always intended to. Who cares if this damages them for life? The important thing is that we dictate whom people are allowed to love.
- Allow straight people to live in peace provided that they do nothing to reclaim the rights they are entitled to, so that we can get their money.
Top Five Ways to Impose our “Culture” on everyone else
- Outlaw croc shoes - no one should be wearing that horrible excuse for footwear, which look more like pieces of Hannibal’s mask cut and dyed.
- Make gym membership compulsory for all men upon reaching the age of 18. National Service just doesn’t cut it, in keeping our men fit! Plus there is no danger of mosquito bites in a gym.
- Make it compulsory for all kids to learn Madonna songs by heart from primary 3 onwards.
- Force employers to give emergency paid leave based on “my-girlfriend’s-ex-threw-a-drink-in-her-face-at-a-bar-its-all-lesbian-drama-gotta-go”.
- Make U-hauls compulsory - no couples shall date for more than 3 days before getting into a relationship and moving in.
Oh no the queens are knocking on the door… I have to run!