Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Yuki's Movie Review: Cloverfield.

Warning: Spoilers Proudly On Display.

Cloverfield was probably one of the movies I had earmarked to watch this year. I saw the awesome shocking trailer online, and at the time it was a mysterious film, with no title given out for the movie. The only hint we had was that it was a JJ Abrams produced movie, but the sight of a giant gust of fire and the sudden decapitated head of the Statue Of Liberty landing awkwardly on the streets of New York is enough to get any movie observer curious about what the movie is all about.

One thing I do not understand is why it had to be New York. This is, like, the second movie setting New York as the city for annihilation (I am sure Will Smith's “I Am Legend”'s vampire/zombie ravaged New York still comes to mind) this year. New York... but as a city for disaster strikes? Yikes... is everyone still having a hangover of 9/11? I sure miss the romance and splendour of that city, with its melancholic mood all around. Where are all the movies like “You've Got Mail”?

Anyway, back to the movie. Cloverfield (untitled at the time) was the presumed to be a movie about a gigantic robot, with everyone thinking it was Voltron. Then when producer JJ Abrams hinted at it being an American monster, it then had everyone guessing again at what kind of monster it could be. Before the name Cloverfield, the movie was supposed to be named “Slusho”, but the curiousity once the movie name came out made Cloverfield the permanent name, but still plays into the hype.

Cloverfield is about the journey of five people Rob, his brother Jason with his girlfriend Lily, Rob's best friend Hud and the girl he admires Marlena; on the rescue of apple of Rob's affection, Beth (Actually, that is what the synopsis said but technically, it is four because Jason died before the rescue mission begins). I have mixed emotions of the choice of little known actors for this movie. One thing, it makes it so easy to kill off all the characters. But the lesson of friendship is there.

But at what price? In the name of friendship, in order to rescue Beth, all of them except Lily died. Yes, all of them except one. It serves as such an easy backdrop for the monster (I suspect the original title “Slusho” actually refers to the name of the creature). They actually contributed to the body count. In the end, is it all worth it? No, because if it takes the risk of losing four lives to rescue one, it is a show of pure stupidity. Yes, because that is how we could get to see the monster in full.

And what slimy, disgusting piece of meat the monster is. I always believe monsters are not supposed to be cute. The American production Godzilla strikes me as too cute. The destruction of the city in Godzilla was cute. The way some of them 'died' in Godzilla, or nearly got squashed, was cute. In fact, even Godzilla's babies in the end of the movie is cute. The song 'Heroes' sung by The Wallflowers must be the cutest songs ever produced. And boy, yes, Matthew Broderick is cute too!

But there is nothing cute about this monster. This creature kills, to the extent one of the soldiers exclaimed, “Whatever it is, it is winning”. Amazingly awesome killing instincts, capable of releasing dozens and dozens of baby monsters capable of taking out even soldiers with guns. This monster is so haunting some of you may have nightmares about it. And because the movie is shot entirely on a video camera's angle it makes the movie so real, except for those with motion sickness.

But the definite star of the movie must be it. The 'Video Camera'! It lasts so long to tell the tale. I counted probably more than 15 hours of battery, and tape. And you know what, the 'Video Camera' is so robust; it is flung here and there, got hit several times, smashed to the ground, dragged all over the place, got into a pile of rocks after a bomb blast, and it is still functioning properly! Surely, we must know the brand this 'Video Camera' is. It must be one of the most incredible ones in the world!

Overall, I find 'Cloverfield', positively one of the more entertaining movies of this year. The camera angle conveys a sense of realism to the whole movie. And you can literally grow with the characters of this movie (to the point they died of course). But you do feel for the friends. But I do think they could have done more for the ending. The identity of the monster, and the fate of the monster or the city, is not revealed in the end, leaving audiences feeling unfulfilled. I give it a rating 3.5 out of 5.

Yuki's Choice Reading: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloverfield

Saturday, January 26, 2008

My Mission To Quit Smoking And Lose Weight (The Beginning).

Quitting is still, in English terms, a present continuous tense (correct me if I am wrong). Yesterday, on the 25th of January 2008 at 9am, yours truly smoked her last cigarette (serious!), so this is a quit. Yep, I abused this body for a solid 7 years and more with a stick made out of paper and tobacco that burns and produces nicotine with tar, sucking it in by 20, sometimes 40 sticks a day; that my lungs sometimes refuse to absorb oxygen in. I have been preparing for this moment since the new year.

I am also trying to lose weight. I now stand at 175 cm tall, but according to my home scale, I am overweight. I am currently 78kg. I remembered a few months ago when I did my medical checkup I was more lighter then. But coming back from Australia to Malaysia, my mouth went berserk, dining on all the food that have been deprived from me. Yes, I miss Malaysian food. I miss all the Bah Kut Teh, the steaming Sweet & Sour Rice, the incomparable Chee Cheong Fun and Chow Kuey Teow.

I am now on a 6 week mission that should end on the 7th of March 2008, two weeks and two days shy of my 32nd birthday eve. In these six weeks, I would be attempting to reduce my weight to under 59kg, and not take a single cigarette until the withdrawal symptoms had passed and I do not need to smoke anymore. I will going on a protein and exercise mode to burn calories and clear out my lungs from nicotine faster. There would also be few days of starvation diet (not advisable to follow me).

I will be recording my progress here on my site. I should be doing the starvation diet intensely on Monday till Friday next week. In these five days I would not take anything but water. If I do feel very hungry I would just take drinks like Tomato juices or Milo to fill up my energy levels. Also, I would be taking only minimal food throughout the six weeks, concentrating on foods with less calories but lots of protein like tunas, eggs and chicken. I will also be taking in lots of vegetables.

There would be a chance of a small collapse in terms of the smoking, but I must stop totally exactly four weeks before 6th March 2008, in which four weeks is the period required for a person to be rid of nicotine from the body, one of the things that creates the 'urge' to smoke. I have not been drinking much, except for red wines in cafes, therefore the places that I have the habit of smoking is avoided; my strong habits to smoke in pubs should be controlled down to a more comfortable level.

Reporting how I feel right now, I am tired and facing withdrawal symptoms, I am more easily irritated then before. I feel tremendously week and sleepy. But I noticed my face looks more fresh then yesterday. I have only eaten a plate of raw sushi with just two rolls of rice and some healthy salads, with chicken rice yesterday. Today I have eaten only a plate of mee with three raw boiled eggs and this afternoon a very small portion of rice with some vegetables, beans and a fish ball.

Weight today: 77.9 kg

Body fat percentage: 35.7%

Body hydration percentage: 46.4%

Cigarettes smoked this week: unknown.

Exercises done this week: none.

I will be making presentations of progress on my mission every weekend. With SRS coming in June, it is really time to quit smoking. And for the first time in my lady self, I really am dying to get the beautiful body that I have never got before. I have been spoiled by the habits of smoking and my love for food. It is time to be healthy. As the old saying goes, you are what you eat. And I do not want to wait until it is too late for me to quit smoking. Hope I could get some progress running.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Real Love Ministry responds to truth in extreme manner.

I have been waiting for this, but never in such fashion... Comments in bold....


Dont trust this transgender!


There is an individual by the name of Vivian @ Yuki @ Anonymous @ etc who is going international via internet to destroy the name and ministry Ps Edmund & RLM (www.r-l-m.com).

I have never use annonymous. I am proud to be out and I am known as Vivian Yuki Choe. I have nothing to hide, but as they showed here they have a lack of sense to discuss anything, then hide into their own dungeon of personal dogma.

This individual is a transgender (a male who believes that he is meant to be a female) who was once helped by Ps Edmund but became vicious because Ps Edmund refused to condone to his pro-gay and pro-transgender believes.

A transgender encompasses crossdressers and transvestites. A transsexual is a person chromosomnally, biologically, hormonally and psychologically defined in total opposite of the birth sexual organ in representation of the society's views on sex. Again, they refuse to do any research on the true definitions of the LGT scope, and instead prefer to invent their own definitions that are totally incorrect. I can announce that I have been diagnosed with 'Harry Benjamin Syndrom' with Gender Identity Disorder' by three medical professionals, as I explained in my previous post. But unfortunately, science of mental health and medical professionals are non existent in them as we can see here.

And the reason on Reflections Ministry opposing RLM as the opposite polar on LGT issues is already released in statement on this site. But as they show here, they have problems with reading information from sources other than from the creation from their untrained minds. They call what they do not read as crap.


The creation of Reflections Ministry was only for the purpose of gay, lesbian and transgender affirmation for christians and non-christians alike. The ex-gay articles wing were not to be inclusive of Real Love Ministry, because I still consider Edmund Smith a friend in Christ's love, and in giving face to his older brother. But after he unleashed an anti-transgender rhetoric article as mentioned in the link, I feel Reflections need to protect herself from such attacks coming from a man who professes love for the LGT community, but had shown otherwise.

Vivian stalks the internet to see where Ps Edmund / RLM are mentioned. And like below – he will condemned Ps Edmund / RLM. Below is just one of the hundreds of schemes of Vivian. He is dangerous & definitely an instrument of the devil. What can you do?

We realise here now what goes on in the mind of the heads of Real Love Ministry. Unable to discuss intelligently what had been tabled to them, they resort to this uncharacteristic attack on me, calling all the true facts and sciences I presented from here as 'schemes'. I am proud to be called 'dangerous', I should be in the face of such tirades, but to be accused of 'definitely an instrument of the devil'? Wow.

1. Pray for him

Thank you. I am sure Our Saviour would know what to do.

2. Do not entertain him (many Christians are interacting with him – online)

I believe after reading such incredible act of non commonsensial response, the online community would know who to entertain.

3. Pass this email to everyone you know.

Thank you, please do so.

Real Love brings Real Life,

Very true indeed. And REAL LOVE Ministry should be taken into scrutiny.

Ps Amanda Smith (wife of Ps Edmund Smith)"

This shows exactly that Real Love Ministry has reduced themselves into a cult, even without any assistance from me. I have stated facts, after facts, again facts, and instead of intellectually discussing the information I presented from valid and authorative sources, however they still resort to this totally unchristianlike manner. And with such lack of security and 'real love'.

With this being the 6th or 7th post on Real Love Ministry out of the 77 posts here, everyone can see I have a life other than talking about them. I only respond when there are more marginalization, misinformation and misrepresentation in regards to the LGT community. As such, perhaps now the lesbian, gay, and transgender community would know now why I no longer regard Real Love Ministry as an option in regards to Christian help for homosexuality. Rather, this show of force would help the community to finally realise what RLM is all about.

Yuki's thoughts:
If I am ever killed by someone who believes I am an instrument of the devil and thinks they are doing it 'for God', because they preached enough intolerace as they showed here; I am happy to return to He who takes this burden from me. However, not my will, but His be done. And I pray God washes their hands clean from their tresspassing and slaughter of the hearts of me and LGT community.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

The Call.

Today the 9th January 2008, at 4.34pm on Wednesday afternoon, I received my first hate call. The person on the other line was a good friend from our Karaoke days, and unfortunately a worker for the Real Love Ministry. The first words uttered from her was... “This is J*****. Can you stop talking about Real Love Ministry?” These words of anger was followed by distinctive repetitions of 'Something is wrong with your brain. You should go seek mental help' and 'You are talking crap'.

She is a young twenty something girl who had been involved in the Real Love Ministry for years. I consider her intelligent, but nevertheless naive enough to be brainwashed to the extent of denying facts as presented. I asked her whether she read my blog, she said she did not need too. And weird enough, even though she did not read my blog, she went on to repeatedly said what I posted was crap. This is the real sign of repulsive behaviour to facts, and the bliss of ignorance to what is true.

There is of course the mix emotions coming from this call. One, was of course the fact that I consider this young girl a friend. Secondly, her refusal to listen was appalling. The reality that she is willing to devote her sane mind to the what she thinks are the infallible words of a man who professes to be ex-gay but is probably a confused heterosexual, her choice in listening to the distorted sciences by him, and her willingness to submit to the misinformation objectives of RLM.

I cited on both my blogs research on transsexuals since the 1930s. And how true is the words she said, there IS something wrong with my brain. I am diagnosed by two Malaysian doctors and a renowned psychiatrist in Australia as a classic case of transsexualism. Known as Harry Benjamin Syndrome. In fact new research even points out to chromosomnal, hormonal and biological causes. My cure unfortunatlely (pity to her assertion that I needed to be placed in a mental institute), is this:


I also recited research on homosexuality since the 1950s. In fact, one startling fact I often stated:


The American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Counseling Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, the National Association of School Psychologists, and the National Association of Social Workers, together representing more than 477,000 health and mental health professionals, have all taken the position that homosexuality is not a mental disorder and thus there is no need for a “cure.”

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, published by the American Psychiatric Association and defining the standard of the field, does not include homosexuality as a mental disorder. All other major health professional organizations have supported the American Psychiatric Association in its declassification of homosexuality as a mental disorder in 1973.

So she calls all these crap? 477,000 medical professionals, teachers, cousellors, doctors and psychiatrists from many distinguished organizations tells her the absolute truth about the current medical opinion and she calls it crap? And reading the Harry Benjamin website, one would discover that all the definitions their 'ministry' put on is totally illogical and incorrect medical definitions. If she call all these crap, just think how much rubbish had been implanted into RLM disciples' minds.

This RLM officer readily digests rubbish, and I fear she is going to live with it for the rest of her life. I have nothing against her, I am only against her beloved organizations' parroting misrepresented information about homosexuality and transsexuals. Two separate sexual components, but yet unintelligently lumped together by Edmund Smith of the Real Love Ministry. But she is adamant to end our friendship. I pray someday she grows up to learn from experience.

I shudder to think what becomes the rest of Edmund Smith's disciples. Only a tearful prayer can be done at this time to save these straight souls who had been controlled into thinking we are just a bunch of 'gender confused' individuals (another favourite line used by their unlearnt leader). She is a friend, but I am writing for my brothers and sisters. If she is really a friend she would listen. I guess prejudice has a way of breaking friendships. Especially caused by the false concepts of RLM.

Yuki's Choice Reading:

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Colour Blind.

One of the first clubs I went, to coming back to Malaysia was Rainforest, located just in front of Sunway Pyramid in Petaling Jaya. There was a bunch of African blacks there dancing away, as my friends and me sat with some other chinese customers, as distant from them as possible. As security goes, we try not to even look at them, and prefer to watch the Manchester United vs Birmingham match which was shown on the screen. They are foreigners, but this is also how we treat our blacks.

My experience with the Indians in Malaysia is riddled with mixed emotions. My best friend's boyfriend is an Indian, and I recall all the problems she has with him. Indians are probably the worst possible offenders in treatment of transsexuals in Malaysia, ranging from producing derogatory remarks to violence. I had also been at the end of such acts, having my car scribbled with graffiti to being molested. At the same time however, some of my good friends are Indians.

The crime rates in Malaysia is also pointing a lot of African blacks being involved, and even Malaysian Indians are not spared. Whenever there is a robbery or murder, the suspect is often pointed to our dark coloured fellow human beings. As my former employer and good friend always say which I agree, a lot of Indians are drunkards, and wife abusers. One of my ex workmates I overheard have bruises all over and lost a few teeth due to the endless beatings from her boyfriend.

There is something about blacks that somehow compound our deepest fears. When the AIDS epidemic surfaced back in the early 1980's, way before the religious right blamed homosexuals for it by calling it gay cancer, it was a well known fact that the HIV was carried across the seas by either Haitians or African blacks. Yes, it is the blacks again. But I wonder is it our own prejudice that caused our own discrimination. Or are they really that dangerous part of human civilization.

The recent worry of the government is the big amount of naïve Malaysian women cheated into becoming drug mules. Many of those arrested recalls their stories of how they were lured into friendships with African men who ask them to carry things across the Pacific to friends, or offered them jobs to travel overseas under a lucrative package, without knowing what was packed inside the luggages. Middle Eastern men was implicated but the volume seems louder towards African blacks.

Back home, both Malaysian Indians are African blacks are usually involved actively in gangsterism. Pimps from the African black community are also rampant, especially around the Bangsar area, ready to offer money and drinks to unsuspecting girls who are eventually lured into the sex trade by them. And when there are fights at any pubs, it is usually Indians who are involved. In fact, in every pub or club I went to, the most unruly people who disrupt all the fun are always Malaysian Indians.

I do not wish to say more, but the statistics and the reality are really not good towards people who are blacks. While we idolize the black Americans in the US, with the sounds of Timberland one of my favourite pieces of musical masterpieces to listen to and Denzel Washington one of the actors I like to watch, the sad fact is when you are staying in the United States, many of the crimes committed there are also by blacks, and many forgot American blacks are from African heritage.

My good friend who is a Malaysian Indian and owns a curry house told me that Indians are ruining their own reputations because they have no choice. A huge lot of them are living below the poverty line, which is why they choose to live a rouge life. I cited Tamil movies with all its violence as a bad influence, but he reminded me that there are also a fair share of gun slinging and fighting in Chinese movies as well which is true. So what does it all come down to then? The colour black.

As the recent demonstration in Malaysia points out to us, blacks are a deeply marginalized community, not only in Malaysia, but everywhere. Yes, they may have a police record larger than the yellow pages, but have we ever thought what have we done to push most of them to live in such deplorable standards? Are we the ones who placed them into boxes until they had to use means up to violence to shred the box to pieces? Could society be better if we learnt to be colour blind?

One the parallel lines, I see very clear similarities between transsexuals and Indians. Most transsexuals have no choice but to resort to prostitution; and in the same breath, Indians have no choice but to live off crime. Some transsexuals are lucky enough to be given stereotype jobs such as salons, as with Indians driving lorries and carrying goods. Those who are fortunate transsexuals and Indians, the ones who are blessed with education, we run away from this country for better pastures.

Both communities are insecure people. Both often turn to drugs and alcohol to relieve the pains. Both groups are a community often not given opportunities like medical health care, better living conditions, and proper jobs because of we are minorities. Sometimes I do think, what can we do to contribute to the world to make a better place. One of that, is love. But sadly, the world is now materialistic and realistic enough not to believe in love anymore. I personally hope it is not too late.

I spent some time with my best friend's boyfriend the other day, and I find him to be a nice boy. Children like him, and except for the occasional temper he could be a nice gentlemen. He is responsible at work, driving miles and miles on the lorry for his boss. He is also a fine pool player. He is a good person. If we had give him, Indians, or blacks around the world, more opportunities, just ponder their potential contribution to society. What goes around, would always come around.