Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Yuki's Funnies: It's All Because...The Gays Are Getting Married....?

I believe this music video is a satirical look at the reality of how gays and lesbians are blamed for everything that happens in the world. We already had gays and lesbians blamed for Hurricane Katrina and The World Trade Center attack, this video even adds a few other things to blame gays and lesbians on... meteors attacking Earth too....! : ) This is interesting. Hope you all like it.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

A Truth Worth Sharing This Christmas.

Discovered at Pam's House Blend.

From Faith In America.

A truth worth sharing this Christmas

The harm experienced by two Florida and South Carolina families this
Christmas because of religion-based bigotry against gay and lesbian
individuals is very real.

Many evangelical Christians this year may have to admit to their
children that they’ve been perpetrating an “untruth.” Perhaps they
are made just a smidgen more uncomfortable by the fact that they
believe truth was embodied in Christ - who according to their
religious teachings was a person born different than any other human

So at a time when many Christians are cautioned not to forget the
“reason behind the season,” they are confronted with the fact that
they must close the door on a part of their son’s or daughter’s
childhood by telling them that certain stories about the partially eaten
cookies, the hand-scrawled note left behind and the soot smeared on
the floor were really not true.

But the young lives of a future generation will go on albeit perhaps
a bit more cynical and somewhat dejected from discovering such a truth.

For the families of Pat and Lynn Mulder of Auburndale, Fla., and Elke
Kennedy and Jim Parker of Greenville, S.C., the lives of their two
children will not be going on. The day-to-day gifts of joy they gave
their parents, siblings and friends ended with their deaths - and no
amount of perception will make their future lives and their gifts to
those around them a reality.

Pat and Lynn’s son Ryan Skipper, who was killed in April 2007, and Elke and
Jim’s son Sean Kennedy, who was killed in May 2007, will not be with their
families next week to celebrate the season - and there is an underlying
reason which we as Americans must confront honestly and truthfully.

Both young men died after attacks that have been reported as acts of
violence against them because they were born different. The
difference was that they enjoyed dating, being around, spending time
with, and bonding emotionally with men instead of women. That
difference, according to certain religious and religious/political
factions in America, condemns them as sinners, unclean, undeserving
of the same rights that other Americans enjoy and unworthy of God’s

Gays and lesbian individuals are not the only Americans who have been
delegated as second-class citizens at the hand of misguided religious
teaching. African-Americans were once labeled as a cursed lot. And
with the “Adam first, Eve second” thinking, women also have been
denied equality in this country as many people believed they stood
more in favor with their God by standing opposed to full equality for

The majority of religious-minded people look back on those periods in
history and realize that religious teachings were misused and
misconstrued to deny African-Americans and women full equality.

Yet many Americans today fail to see the history of religion-based
bigotry against gay and lesbian citizens and the harm that it causes
to millions of wonderful people simply because they are different.

The families of Ryan Skipper and Sean Kennedy this Christmas are
experiencing the harm that comes when a social climate of
rejection and condemnation is allowed to flourish because a society
accepts bigotry against gay and lesbians as religious truth.
While those families experienced the physical violence that is
promoted by such a climate of rejection and condemnation, millions of
of other gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans and their
family and friends experience this violence and in other forms as
well - emotional, psychological and spiritual violence.

In South Carolina, where Sean Kennedy parents will spend Christmas,
the state in 2006 voted to ban gay marriage and the opposition from
Christian churches in that state was instrumental in writing such
discrimination into South Carolina’s constitution - which
coincidentally still banned interracial marriages until just a few
years ago.

Next year in Florida, where Ryan Skipper’s parents reside, a ban on
gay marriage is being proposed for that state’s constitution and no
doubt religious and religious/political groups will lead that effort.

While denying gay and lesbian citizens the right to marry is but one
of the many rights they as American citizens are not allowed to
enjoy, it is an issue that clearly defines how a majority religious
belief is used to justify legal discrimination against a minority.

Let’s hope that people across this nation will pause for a moment to
recognize that misusing religious teachings to justify discrimination
against gay and lesbian citizens must be recognized just as wrong
today as it has been in the past.

Great social injustices of the past have fallen faint when America’s heart and
soul bestows its most wondrous gift – equality.

Sharing that truth will most assuredly enrich the lives of future generations.

Brent Childers
Executive Director
Faith In America

Yuki's thoughts: For me, it is not only a truth worth sharing this Christmans, it is also a truth worth sharing for the rest of our lives.

May the Christian conservatives, religious right and ex-gay ministries one day have the wisdom to see the light.

And these groups forgiven for their organized intolerance campaigns against gays, lesbians and transgenders worldwide.

Hope someday tomorrow all gays, lesbians and transgenders, shall be reconciled to society and Our Saviour on earth.

And be kept in security, equality, grace and affirmation, in accordance to the two greatest commandments of Christ Jesus.

This is my Christmans prayer,

And may the New Year usher in a new age of compassion, understanding and truth about people like us.

We all are God's children.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Street Fighter: Legend Of Chun Li... When will they do a Morrigan Aensland movie next?....

When I was a teenager and struggling to fit in, one of the stuff I picked up to be one of the ‘boys’ was video arcade games. I played a lot of these arcade games because in a small town like Ipoh, there were not many entertaining things to do to get around. I played many, but two games which I eventually mastered, was Vampire Hunter and Street Fighter (Street Fighter II: The World Warrior, Street Fighter II: The New Challengers).

I was so good at it I gave the boys a torrid time. I practically was a master in the use of Vampire Hunter’s Morrigan Aensland, knowing how to execute all of her special powers, and also a fan of this character being close to the woman I hope to be one day, in my fantasies of course. But Street Fighter was also an appeal to me because of its storyline with cool graphics, and I managed to specialize in characters like Ken, Ryu and Blanka.

I watched three movies that spurned out of it; one was the totally comedic Hong Kong movie Future Cops, and the Jean-Claude Van Damme vehicle Street Fighter. I was totally disappointment with both, as I feel it does not do justice to the legend Street Fighter is and what it stands for in the heart of the arcade generation. The best representation of the arcade game was in the end Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie, which was awesome.

So when I heard some news today, I felt mixed emotions within me. I went, what the…!!!

Street Fighter: Legend Of Chun-Li!

Who is going to play Chun Li? It was supposedly Jessica Alba / Keira Knightley, but both turned down the ‘golden’ chance. It looks like Clark Kent’s love interest in ‘Smallville’ is the girl!

‘Street Fighter’ Has It’s Chun Li

Kristin Kreuk is Chun-Li in Street Fighter!

Street Fighter's Chun-Li Is Smallville star Kristin Kreuk

What have they done now! Kristin Kreuk as Chun Li? If she goes against Morrigan Aensland, I will give my cash that Morrigan would win without lifting a skirt, or a sweat.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Video: Are You A Boy Or A Girl?

Many thanks to Marti Abernathey for the discovery of this video.

This surely is one of the most touching videos I watched thus far this year. Hope you feel it too.

Real Love Ministry's Edmund Smith brainwashing teenage girls at Christian camp.

I found a peculiar blog, its title curiously close to mine, and in it is a post about a teenage girl who attended Girls Christian Camp 2007. Below is her post in regards to a session under Real Love Ministry's Edmund Smith. Claptrap at it's best.

"Sunday, 16 December 2007

Continuation of girls camp 2007 --- Homosexuality and the Ex-gay Lifetstyle

I wanted to separate the posts because I think my previous post is too long. So anyway...

I also joined the workshop “The Heart of Worship” by Pastor Ng Wah Lok and “What do you do when no one is watching” by Pastor Edmund Smith. The heart of worship workshop was really interesting. Pastor Ng Wah Lok taught about how to plan songs for worship. Pastor Edmund Smith’s topic was a little bit shocking at 1st. It was Homosexuality and the Ex-Gay Lifestyle. I really didn’t expect it. And actually I didn’t choose it. I chose The heart of worship. But Pastor Ng can only come on the 1st day, and Pastor Edmund can only come on the 2nd and 3rd day, so both workshops were joined. And I’ve learnt a lot from Pastor Edmund Smith about gays and he has really changed my perspective of gays.

If you've read my post entitled "What would YOU do?", I had this thinking that gays are born like that. I had this perspective that gays cannot be changed. But through the workshop, I've learnt that there are people who were gay and now they're not. For example, Pastor Edmund Smith himself was gay. He had 3 elder brothers. So when his mother was pregnant with him, his parents expected him to be a girl. But when he was born a boy, his parents rejected him, especially his father. He told us that his mother rejected him at 1st but then later accepted him. But for the 1st 5 years of his life, his mother treated him like a girl and later treated him like a boy. So he was very confused about his gender. He told us he hated being a guy. He wanted so badly to be a girl. And he lead a gay lifestyle for almost 11 years. He later stopped being gay because he said he suffered and was depressed during the 11 years he was leading the gay lifestyle. But of course he said it was not easy to change from being gay to straight. But he said soon after he left the gay lifestyle, he found Jesus. And his life changed from there. And oh yea, he's married by the way. Blessed with 2 kids. =)

He taught us a lot of terms and also shared with us the issues that could lead to a person being gay. First he taught us about 2 stances : the pro-gay and ex-gay stance.

Ex-gay stance = promotes ex-gay lifestyle and discourages gay lifestyle
Pro-gay stance = promotes and encourages gay lifestyle
Then he taught us some terms :

gay = (for male and female) others drawn to a person of the same sex in a way of romance and sex

lesbian = specifically for female homosexuals

Gay friendly = to be friendly to gays, but hold the ex-gay stance. Aka do not hurt or reject gays, but be friendly to them and at the same time do not encourage their gay lifestyle/do not encourage them being gay.

anti gay/homophobic = afraid of gays/hate gays. opposite of gay friendly

hermaphrodite = one who is born with both genitals.(not necessarily gay)(due to genetics)

Transgender= transfer of gender. one who has a Gender Identity Disorder. a female who wants to be a male and vice versa.

Transsexual = transgender who go for sex change operation

Transvestite = transfer of vest (clothes). a male who dresses like a female (or vice versa) mostly for fun/ performance.

Androgynous = one who appears in the middle. Eg, a person looks a little like a man but at a certain angle looks like a woman.(not due to genetics)

homophyllic = one who loves others of the same sex but has nothing to do with sex or romance.

Deep Platonic Relationship = relationship whereby a person loves another of the same sex deeply without involving sex or romance.

pedophile = adult who is drawn to children in a way of sex/romance.

metro sexual = a man who is in touch with his feminine side.(eg man who cook, do facial, do sewing, cry, etc) it is usually a term for men and it is perfectly normal.

fetrosexual = same as metro sexual but this term is used for girls (eg, girls who are strong, who love to play football/rugby etc etc

butch = a girl who wants to be a guy. they will bind their breasts, cut their hair short, act like a guy etc

The issues that could most probably lead to homosexuality :


This issue is the rejection in the area of gender or appearance. Eg, a person who hates his/her own gender. In the area of appearance means that a person who hates the way he/she looks like. Eg, a person who feels that he/she is ugly or fat etc. Pastor Edmund was saying that don't ever hate yourself. Thank God for making you a girl/guy. Never say that you wish were the opposite gender. It really woke me up because there were times where I hated being a girl (it was not serious/severe). But yea, his words made me thank God everyday that I am a girl. I am who He made me to be.

And also Pastor Edmund said, don't complain you're ugly, but rather remember that you are beautiful in God's eyes, and that's all that matters. God made all of us beautiful, so don't ever say or complain that you're ugly. He also said don't complain about being fat. But instead, exercise, eat well and rest well. (A big bang to my head for that. LOL)


This issue is basically about the absence of love of a parent/relative of the same gender. For example, Pastor Edmund did not have love from his father. His father was there physically but he didn't love Pastor Edmund. So Pastor Edmund was looking and wanting love from a person of the same gender.

Pastor Edmund said that many people always look for Mr/ Miss Right. And he was stressing that there is no such thing as Mr/ Miss Right, because no one is perfect. And he also said that no one completes us. He said for example, his wife does not complete him, but compliments him.

During one of the night sessions (not connected to this workshop), Pastor Eric Lau came to speak and he quote a saying from Pascal : "In the hearts of every men and women there is a God shaped vacuum that can only be filled by God the creator through Jesus Christ". This is so true.


This issue is where a person is unable to be romantically involved with another of the opposite sex because the person has been abused verbally or sexually. For example, a girl may have been molested or raped. She will look at men as monsters and she won't be comfortable being romantically involved with a man. If this issue is not resolved (through counselling), she will stick to girls and this can lead to lesbianism.

*phew* So yea, he was telling us that gays are not born. God doesn't make gays. A person becomes gay mostly because he/she has not resolve either one, two, or all of these 3 issues. A person can also become gay because of influence from the world. He also taught about Deep Platonic Relationship. It is normal and possible, to love a person of the same sex deeply without involving romance/sexuality. So yea, don't get confused between admiration/ deep platonic relationship and love for the same sex in terms of romance.

He also taught us to be gay friendly but to stay strong to the ex-gay stance. We can be friendly to gays but it doesn't mean that we encourage that person being a gay/ leading a gay lifestyle. He also taught us not to reject gays or to mock gays.

Anyway, to learn more about Pastor Edmund's work (it's called the Real Love Ministry) , check out his website
You can also check out this website

I really found this workshop and the things Pastor Edmund taught very useful. I think now that gays and their lifestyle are beginning to be such a norm, these notes are very useful as awareness to the public. And also hope that a gay can be changed. Though it is not easy and it also depends on whether that person is willing or not. But yea, it is an interesting topic, and an important one too.

Hope you'll find this post useful. Do comment and give your opinions."

Yuki's thoughts: I usually would comment on these kind of posts, but in my heart, it just goes, why bother. I am concerned though in the things Edmund Smith do in so called 'love' here like:
- Brainwashing of young teenagers about lesbians, gays and transsexuals.
- Imposing his own personal life upon people as if everyone is like him.
- Wrong terminologies again, I wonder why Edmund is so stubborn in still presenting transsexuals as people who had their sex change? And transgenders are transsexuals?
- Insisting gays can change, even though it has already been proven otherwise.
- Did not mention anything about APA's position about homosexuality.
- Still presenting 'pro-gays' as influencers of a perpetuated 'gay lifestyle'.
- Self made junk science of 'causes' of homosexuality.
The list is endless.

People should start to question the authority of Edmund Smith, who definitely is miles away from even the will of God with his near demonic lies, from preaching about a topic that he himself knows nothing about or even understand in himself.

It annoys me that Edmund is still deriving terms that are not of science or medical field, but created from his 'experience' (which he thinks gives him the right to change scientific terminologies.). Luckily though, with his recycled 'truths', he is getting staley stagnant. He can never say he is not anti-gay anymore.

Pursuing Liberty Under Christ – Where change is possible. Is it?

I had recently noticed the more than normal sightings of ex-gay ministries in Malaysia, notably the upgrade of Pursuing Liberty Under Christ (PLUC). Say, hold on, another one? There are actually a few running in Malaysia, and ex-gay ministries are now attacking the South East Asian market in a big way. And again, unwarranted misinformation with the usual claims of ‘change’ that goes without any evidence.

I recently posted an article on Reflectionsasia in regards to their imagination of the homosexual state. As you surf their website, you would find the usual dogmas of the ‘struggling’ homosexual that seems to have no life and no hope perpetuated, that is further amplified with statements of homosexuals having peers who confuse them with comforting ‘gay theology’ or influences into ‘accepting a sinful lifestyle’.

There is always twist of the cause = effect theory with them. For example, I am a transsexual. Being born different than my common self caused me to be distanced from my parents. But however you knock their stubborn heads, they would still insist on twisting this one fact into my parents distance themselves from me; that is why I became different from my common self. Confused yet? That is how ex-gay ministry works.

PLUC repeats the tiring musings of RLM, stating sexual brokenness by parental rejection as a ‘cause’ of homosexuality. Broken masculinity becomes the cause of men into being in love with the same sex. It is so easy to be led astray to their type of shallow thinking, especially when they claim to have God on their side. But how many same sex couples ended up hurt and dehumanized by them? And how many would waste their years in it?

As for ‘change’, sources I got inside RLM had reported that there had been only very few success stories inside, and most of the gays and lesbians brought in swiftly left the group within a few meetings. But newcomers brought in, maintains the group to around 100 people. So they go around in circles with the same courses that runs a few months that are recycled every year. While science is advancing, understanding homosexuals better.

PLUC says ‘many’ have changed. Sure? Give us the identities of the changed ‘many’. Let the public eye or the gay and lesbian community interview these many ‘changed’ homosexuals so we may know it really ‘works’. What are the estimates? Where are the reports that have people from Universiti Malaya or Pantai Medical Centre looking over it, to confirm such event? Of course, excuses will push down results to only a few changes.

Exactly the same results Exodus International are having now. Few changes out of thousands of gays and lesbians walk through their doors. Changes that mean bisexuals that are sticking to the side that is being straight. Changes that mean confused heterosexuals who gone experimenting and realize homosexuality is not them. Or remorsefully, changes that mean homosexuals that choose celibacy. That is all to it.

With more and more former leaders of these ministries coming out to apologize for their organized bigotry motions and misinformation campaigns overseas, it is perhaps only a matter of time that Malaysian versions of these ministries start to confess the grave sins of further marginalizing an already misunderstood community that needs to be reconciled to The Lord, instead of having them defined by the standards ex-gays desire in them.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Yuki's Funnies: Jeff Dunham with Achmed The Dead Terrorist.

One of the funniest videos I have seen for a long time. It is so funny, many had sent it to me. So probably some of you had watched it. But in case you missed it, here is your chance to redeem yourself. I present to you, with Jeff Dunham, Achmed The Dead Terrorist. Enjoy and take care.

Journey To Thailand (Conclusion: The Journey Home).

I woke up to the reality that it was the day to get home. I took a short bath and went downstairs for my breakfast. Looking at the menu, it was an easy selection. Go for the Thai meal, it could be years before I may enjoy this again. It was an enjoyable meal, while watching the ‘US Democratic Debate’ on CNN in the hotel lounge. I rushed back to my room, packed up my stuff and checked out of the Wall Street Inn. Prayerfully, I am on my way.

I left an IM message for my boyfriend for help, and with some of the money I had left on me I bought an IDD card. That was it, it was my last chance. I called back frantically to the Maybank centre in Kuala Lumpur, asking them for ways to activate my ATM card. No wonder it was useless here in Thailand. I did not activate the option for overseas withdrawals. I quickly gave my details, and within 40 minutes, my card was active again.

It is now almost noon, and now I got to rush back to the airport. I cannot miss the next flight back to Malaysia. Withdrawing the cash I needed, I jumped into a taxi with yet another non-English speaking driver. Drats! Really. Does anyone speak English around here? I had to do self made sign languages depicting an airplane and use the word Suvarnabhumi to get the driver to understand me, and luckily he goes ‘Oh ya ya!’ ‘A-pot!’. Gosh!

A short trip later, I alighted the taxi and my heart goes, yes! I am back at the Suvarnabhumi Airport! The next step of course is to get a ticket. So which flight shall I take? The logical choice would be the earliest flight, and that was under the Malaysian Airline System. But I am tempted to try Thai Airways. But that would be too late for me, and I just cannot wait to go back. So gleefully, I bought the earliest ticket and checked in for my flight home.

Sitting within the gateway for my flight, I still am at awe of what I had encountered in Thailand. Most of the public toilets, even ones in restaurants, have just bowls without flush tanks. But the washrooms there are so clean, even with the trouble of people flushing it manually. The town of Chonburi and Bangkok city are incredibly clean with hardly a single rubbish to be seen. Even the food tastes healthy. How I wish my own country was like that.

Ok I admit. On the plane, after saying goodbye to Thailand, I am actually starting to miss it. The friendliness, the culture, the nightlife, I am even inspired to learn the Thai language. Thailand is really nothing like Malaysia. Of course all countries would have their pros and cons in living, but I do know I am truly leaving a mystical Asian land, and that someday I am going to return there. But till then; Malaysia, I am coming back.

From a beautiful place to another beautiful land, as the plane lands at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport, there is a surreal feeling that surrounds me. Firstly would be the thought, am I really home after the fright of the night before? Another, the sudden English and Malay conversations people were having. Then of course, I just came back from another country, it really feels like a fantasy, even though it happened just last night.

I withdrawn some money my boy eventually sent me, and I went to the Satellite A duty free shops and bought two cartons of Virginia Slims Lights as the fat lady sings. Then, the trip home on yet another tonto taxi. Great reminder of my adventures. Later that night, I reminiscence my little journey to big Thailand and discuss it with my friends near my apartment. There is no place like home. But for what it is worth, it had been a fabulous journey.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Australia's first openly lesbian minister... and she is from Malaysia....

From The Star newspaper, Malaysia:

Malaysian-born Penny now Aussie minister


KOTA KINABALU: The father of Malaysian-born Penny Wong Ying Yen who has been appointed as a Cabinet minister in Australia is thrilled with his daughter’s political success.

“I am very happy. I hope her appointment will be a blessing for Australia,” said Francis Wong Yit Shing, 66, an architect here.

The 39-year-old Penny, who was born in Sabah but grew up in Australia from the age of eight with her mother, was yesterday named Climate Change and Water Minister by Prime Minister Kevin Rudd whose Labor party won the recent elections.

Penny Wong Yin Yeng
Francis, who described his daughter as a go-getter, said that the portfolio given to his daughter was very “current and important” not only for Australians but for everyone concerned about global warming and climate change.

“I know she is a very responsible person and she will work hard to achieve her objectives,” said Francis, who keeps in touch with his daughter through SMS.

He said he never expected her to become a politician.

“I wanted her to be a doctor and she enrolled for it. A year later she switched to law after going on a student exchange programme to Brazil where she saw the need to help people,” said Francis.

Proud as punch: Francis and Penny keep in touch via SMS and mostly talk about family matters.
On completing her studies, she became involved in unions and industrial court cases in Australia.

Penny became the first Asian-born woman Senator when she won a seat in South Australia in 2002.

Last week’s Australian elections saw her winning a second term with her party toppling John Howard’s government.

Asked if he had ever given his daughter any political advice, Francis said the politics that he knew about was only that of South-East Asia.

“We mostly talk family matters.”

Francis said Penny and her mother left Sabah for Australia in 1977 for Penny’s education while he remained in the state.

Over time, he and his wife separated and Penny took up Australian citizenship.

(Of course, Malaysia being Malaysia, they would definitely delete primary and important facts from their media reporting. But the rest of the world knows, and the LGT community is proud to herald the first openly lesbian minister in Australia. And in Australia under Kevin Rudd, we are happy to announce it:)

Ladies Lead PM Rudd's Top Team

"Ms Wong a South Australian senator, will be Australia's first openly lesbian minister."

More links on Penny Wong below. If Malaysia is not fully proud of you, we are!


Sydney Morning Herald


Yuki thoughts: I just find it amazing, my home country can be so prideful about having an ex Malaysian making it so big outside the country, but did not question why this rising star of world politics is not plying her trade here and conveniently help closet her true sexual orientation from fellow Malaysians. What the... (sigh)

(This story is so interesting, in addition relates to my position as a Malaysian in Australia; so I posted it in both here and 'reflectionsasia'. Feel free to comment.)

Monday, December 3, 2007

Journey To Thailand (Part Two: Into The Night).

This trip to Thailand need not be a nightmare. I checked in at the hotel reservation centre for a room in Bangkok. Okay, I am already stuck here, so while waiting for my boyfriend to rescue me, I might as well go down to the city centre and make the best of a day plan gone awry into a short one night holiday. After booking my stay in a Wall Street Inn off Silom Road, off I went to Bangkok on another taxi with a driver that knows no English.

It was when I reached the city centre that I realized how big Bangkok was. Huge! It was at the least 3 to 4 times bigger than Kuala Lumpur. Even after reaching the city, it took a long while to reach the hotel. Silom road is one place I had wanted to go for sometime, because I heard most of my transsexual sisters are there. I am curious to find out their living conditions in comparison to the sisters in Malaysia. Has it changed or improved?

I arrived at the hotel and after checking into my room, I found that my room was really small and comes without a bathtub. In my frustration I still try to cheer myself up. Thailand programmes were incomprehensive because there are no English subtitles. There are also hardly any channels to watch. I took a short bath and calculated the money I have. After everything is set, here I go into the most happening street in Bangkok.

With ATM card not working here in Bangkok and barely enough to go back to the airport in the morning, it became a very budgeted walk. I have barely 1000 thai baht in my budget this night, because I needed to reserve some 500 thai baht for any emergency. I asked around the crowd where I can meet my transsexual sisters, and it was then I was led to a night market just around the corner with tons and tons of pubs and clubs around.

I went inside one called ‘Super Pussy’. It sounds daring enough, but got a shock of my life when I am surrounded by at least two handfuls of nude girls, all expecting tips. The drinks were ridiculously priced at RM 300 bahts for a small glass of coke! And I have to give extra charges for just watching the nude show. So I quickly dashed out, not before I realized a naked girl on stage was opening a beer bottle with her pussy! Ouch!

I dashed to another place called ‘Pink Panther’. It is probably the more boring of the pubs I visited that night, but the drinks were quite cheap for a pub, at only 110 baht for a bottle of Heineken. There were three girls dancing on the pole, dressed sexy but still considered fully clothed. This would be a nice place to drink if the songs they played were better. Gosh, really missed the song Shiny Disco Ball. Is there someplace good to go to?

Well, it is within much deeper into the market place called ‘Tiger’. It is a mixed of biological girls and transsexual girls, lots of them, dancing in supremely skimpy bikinis to the point they were almost naked. Beer was incredibly cheap at only 100 baht. It also appeared to me a system there where the girls were numbered. Once a customer chooses the number, a customer would give a tip for the girls company, or bring them home.

I spoke to one of the transsexual sisters there, and from it I gathered that in order to live better, there is not much choice but sex work, especially when opportunities were few and far between. But she does harbour hopes one day she can have a better life. I decided to walk back to my hotel as it was getting late and I need to prepare to get home a day after. I breathed a silent prayer for my sisters in Thailand, and for a better tomorrow for all.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Journey To Thailand (Part One: The Big Rush).

In the middle of this month, I took a trip up north to Thailand, on a mission to see Dr Suporn Watanyusakul, a famed Sex Reassignment Surgeon in Chonburi. Chonburi is a cute little town around 50 kilometers from Bangkok. I did not pack up anything and just carried my handbag with my important documents as I was planning to come back in the evening. So I boarded an early afternoon flight on check in at 1.30pm on Air Asia.

When I arrived at the LCC Terminal near KLIA, my knees went into constant shiver as I realize the prospect of getting into my first flight for ages. I have a fear of being on an air plane, and am unsure of what started this phobia of being subjected to the risk of a plane crashing into furious flames or the window of the and sucking me out to a fall of 30 over thousand feet into my certain death. Worse come to worse, at least I will be dead fast.

Nevertheless, I decided to sum up all the courage I had to get on the plane and claim all the convulsions in my stomach as the plane takes off. I tried to relax my mind thinking of that old song ‘One Night In Bangkok’, and appease myself with the meal I bought on the air plane. Air Asia is not as cheap as I thought, after adding the airport tax and everything it comes out to a near RM 900 bill, so I might as well enjoy my flight as much as I can.

I reached the Suvarnabhumi Airport around 3.30pm Bangkok time. With my legs still in jello style and my heart still pumping over the horrendous experience, I managed to get out to the immigration and arrival hall with no problems. I caught a taxi which ended up being an illegal tonto taxi, so as I am running short of time, I decided to take it anyway even though they charged me an awesome and ridiculous 2000 baht for it.

The travel was alarming. All the signboards have tiny little English words in comparison to the large Thai words. I do not even know whether I am going the right way, especially when the taxi driver, a nice lady anyway, does not utter any English and only a weeny bit of Mandarin. But the lady understood where is Chonburi, and as the clinic was located right in the main road of the town we managed to find it. And a classy clinic it is indeed.

The nice lady taxi driver offered to wait around for me, so I decided to stick to this driver and head through the clinic doors. There I was greeted by the usual calls of ‘Sawadeeka’ and was brought to the doctor’s clinic. I have to speak very slowly to get him and his wife (presumably) to understand what I wanted and needed. But I was pleased when he told me I have enough tissues to create the best results possible for my upcoming SRS.

I saw the samples and it was amazing. I got all the information I need and bade farewell to the Dr Suporn and his staff. After a quick dinner, I quickly attempted to rush back to the airport with the help of the nice lady, who eventually charged me only 1500 baht for the way back. Unfortunately, we run into some road works that caused an incredible jam on the Bangkok Chonburi highway. I ran into the risk of missing my flight.

I reached the airport but it was too late. The Air Asia counter refused to check me in even though I arrived five minutes before the check in closes, claiming their gate is too far and would close before me getting there. I burst into tears and anger as I am looking at the notice board and discovered my flight was still on check in and then boarding. That was it. I am never taking an Air Asia flight again. In gloom, I look at the prospects I have, as I am stranded in Bangkok.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Announcement: Yuki's discovery.

No, I have not disappeared from the sight of cyberspace. Neither have I given up on my mission to counter voice the torrid misinformation and miseducation of ex-gay ministries. And I still have a lifetime to share about the ridiculous circumstances I go through in my life and the variety of environments I am going to find myself in.

I just had been real busy with my affairs in regards to my impending move, going to and fro the immigration departments to rush in my documents, bidding farewell to as much friends as possible, settling everything I can, and preparing myself for the next stage of my journey.

In fact, I am done, and I am now typing from my fiance's labtop some thousands of miles away from my home country. Yes, I am now in the absolute humid town of Darwin, at the North Territory in Australia. I am still alive. Also, I thank a number of readers that had been checking up on me. Reflections Asia and The Journey Of Yuki is still very much at your reading pleasure.

Monday, November 5, 2007

It is confirmed. Being homosexual is worse than being black or women (according to the Anglican Church).

This is one of the most jurassic, outdated and mindless set of statements I had ever read in any news in regards to sexual orientation.

Bishops in the Anglican Church are strongly against the ordination of homosexuals in the Anglican Communion across the world, said Jill Southern, 65, from the Ellel Ministries in the United Kingdom.

Gee, I wonder why.

She said the scenario of gay pastors in same sex marriage is unusual and has caused a lot of problems.

Problems borne of self creation caused by ignorance and bigotry? So just who's problem is it? The homosexuals... or this prejudicial lady?....

"It is God's view that homosexuals should not be ordained as priests or pastors in any country because their sin separates them from God. "

I hereby challenge this old woman to state out the verse that says "homosexuals should not be ordained as priests or pastors in any country" or in any similar meaning. If she succeeds, I shall pretend to be a boy for the rest of my life. If she fails, she is to shut the fukk up because God clearly stated in the Bible (1 Timothy 2: 11 - 14).

However, the Church does not really know quite how to handle the situation.

Of course! Only churches are dumb enough to send homosexuals to ex-gay ministries!

"It is a big, hot potato in the Anglican Church. Bishops in Africa, for example, are strongly against the ordination of homosexuals," she told Daily Express. Southern said homosexuality is contrary to God's order and a sexual sin because it is rebellion against God and brings guilt and shame.

Contrary to God's order? Can you please send all the people born deformed, disabled or born without some organs to be condemned then, because all of them are surely not God's order too. The guilt and shame do not come from God my darling Jill. It comes from being imposed by ugly women like you who do not even follow God's commandment for you to shut up.

"God makes males and females, not homosexuals. Homosexuality is one form of ungodly sex like lesbianism. When we engage in ungodly sex, we are enjoining our spirit to the demonic spirit behind it, and this destroys our lives.

You cannot differentiate gender identity with sexual orientation. But you even went on to separate homosexuality and lesbianism? Gosh, from which college this lady came from, I darn am not going to recommend it! Homosexual sex as demonic? As demonic as the statements you are presenting now Missy Jill?

"Ungodly sex allows our spirit to be penetrated by the demonic power behind the ungodly act. In fact, homosexuality is self-destructive behaviour."

Actually I had not seen homosexuals self destruct. The conquer and destroy button still very much in the possession of jurassic mental disorder patients like you.

Other forms of ungodly sex are premarital sex, incest, adultery, oral sex, sodomy, masturbation, bestiality (sex with animals), trans-sexuality, masochistic and sadistic sex, bondage sex, cyber sex, voyeurism and paedophilia.

It is so easy to lump the innocents together with the defiled in your convenient thinking, right? It is also supremely shallow, especially when each of it represents different things. Gosh, I can just lump this Anglican with Mormons and call it a cult.

She was one of three key speakers from the UK and Australia to disseminate information at the two-day Seminar on Godly Sex & Sexuality.

God Bless The Attendees.

It was organised by All Saints' Cathedral in association with Ellel Ministries International (In East Asia) at the cathedral.

God Bless The Attendees From Malaysia.

Southern, who is Director of a Bible Training School run by Ellel Ministries in Pierrepont near London, however, said we can empathise with homosexuals but we are not here to judge them.

Yes. You are not judging homosexuals. You are just throwing stones and hide your hands, saying, I did not do it.

"While we don't condemn homosexuals in the eyes of God, we should also not ordain them either. We are here to say that homosexual activity is wrong and the gateway to healing for the homosexual is repentance.

Healing? I think you and your cohorts needs some serious healing not only of unsound minds and judgemental hearts, but also from heterosexual supremacist practises and behaviours.

"And if they don't recognise it as sin, they are not going to repent it."

Because it is not a sin. Do you study? Have you ever talked to homosexuals? Or you are contented on taking information from ministry by a confused hetero like RLM? Then you can have me give you tips about how to be a boy. I should know! I am an ex-boy!

According to her, there are many ex-gays today and one such is David Kyle Foster, a former homosexual prostitute in America who had over a thousand sexual "men" relationships.

Yeah. But you also forgot to mention a lot of ex-gays ended up getting married back to their partners by their core orientation. Also how a lot of ex-gays still secretly look for boys, like Ted Haggard. Or are you afraid to mention also on how many ex-gays eventually became ex-ex-gays ( They find healing from leaving such organized discrimination and control freaks like you.

"And God partly saved him. He repented and came for salvation. We believe God forgave him. He stopped the activity completely. He now tours the country talking to homosexuals and telling them about how they can be freed from this ungodly sex."

How to be freed? Or how to condemn themselves to surpress who they are? This man had better not be another confused hetero, or he also is going to get a mouthful from me for his misrepresentation. Anyhow, both of you. Give us equality, then mind your own business and leave us alone.

Southern, who has also authored books on Godly Sex, stressed that the "enemy" has deceived homosexuals into thinking that their activity is a sexual orientation, adding that a person's sexuality is determined by the genitalia, not his or her orientation.

The 'homosexualily do not exist' crap again? Yikes! Just how narrow minded is that! Sexuality determined by genitalia? Crikey! I got a friend who lost both his testicles and penis due to cancer recently... so he is female now and cannot get married to girls?! How OH-full....

"They are deceived and think God allows gay sex and gay marriages. A homosexual tends to believe that he is born a homosexual. I don't believe that is true. It's a lie to say you are born homosexual. It is usually a result of homosexual abuse in very early childhood when they were wrongly touched but there are other possible causes such as gender confusion and rejection by a peer group as a 'weakling'."

The 'homosexuals becoming homosexuals ' crap? So does that mean those heterosexual childred who are sexually abused in childhood are 100% bound to be homosexuals? Can you please prove that? Gender confusion? My gay friends refuse to sleep with me because I am wearing a skirt. Just how 'gender confused' are they, lady? They are deceived? Excuse me, but since you are now straight, what right have you to assume?!

It was also possible that the ungodly soul-tie with the person who wrongly touched them has become a spirit of homosexuality which now occupies them (homosexuals), she added.

Demon possession? Surely I would like the homosexual spirit, because of the Christian homosexuals I know, they show all the fruits of the spirit. But I only see people like you bearing bad fruits from your tree, darling. And I am sure, non of it is from God.

"So this spirit of homosexuality has an appetite for homosexual acts, and is using your body for its own appetite. When a homosexual person confesses and repents the sin, we can tell the spirit to leave and the homosexual desire will also go," said Southern, who has ministered into the lives of homosexuals in her country, many of whom have turned over a new leaf.

Yes, and perhaps if you repent from such judgemental heart and mindless thoughts, the spirit of heterosexuality will flee from you too.

Earlier, in her presentation, she said godly sex is sex within a covenant marriage with God's blessing and God teaches us to say "No" to ungodly sex and worldly passions.

So are you asking everyone to be celibate now?

"God created us as sexual creatures being male and female, and wants. Sex was originally God's idea. We consummate a biblical marriage. In God's perfect plan for Mankind, sex is spiritual and sex is worship of God. But sex without a marriage covenant is a curse.

That is why homosexuals want to settle down with their partners in marriage. Duh. And the male n female talk again? I pity those who are born intersexed, those females without ovaries and males who lost their testicles then. They lost God's image. So sad. That is what you are implying, is it lady?

"During sexual intercourse, two people become one as God intended. There is an intermingling of spirit, soul and body in the sexual act. Sex is therefore spiritual.

I could not agree with you more. It can be spiritual when you stop condemning consensual sexual relationships between two sane adult men.

Likewise, sex in marriage is worship where the spirit is nurtured, strengthened and built up in mutual comfort, intimacy, love and encouragement," she added.

Goodness! So you are encouraging spouse rape and non-consensual sex in marriage? How low is that? I wonder how would those couples by planned marriages feel about it.

Yuki's thoughts: Yuki has too may thoughts about this Jill Southern's pure bigoted thoughts that she is having a thoughts overload.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

The Sisters.

We are doing ourselves no favours. Yes, I may always give my heartfelt love to those of us who struggle in our daily lives, to those of us who have commited suicide because of the rejection we all face daily. But I cannot help to think what if, just what if we had actually aggravated our own situations with our own doings. In our lives contantly living under the norm prejudices, have we ever thought that maybe it is we ourselves contributing to the lost of respect for our sisters?

A lot of my friends are so surprised with me when they started to know me as a transsexual female. They even told me how they cannot stand the others, and were surprised that I was not one of 'them'. I ask them for their thoughts, and I got really a heavy mouthful of condemnations. It seems that the rest of them trans sisters of mine do not behave in any likeness of a female, let alone a good human being or a sane creature. In fact, I share some of their feelings.

Seriously, I had come out of the closet again, and lived as who I am for the past two years. But I barely seen any real transsexuals. There may be some, but it seems that I am surrounded by mostly transvestites who consider themselves transsexuals just because they dared to operate and grow breasts, and some crossdressers who wants to pass as women to the extent of surgery. In fact, I identified most transsexuals actually exist overseas than here in Malaysia.

All of these transvestites in transsexuals clothing almost have the same habits. They want to become beautiful women. They are desperate to pass as as a girl. If they are really transsexuals, they would have no needs whatsoever to do so. Because they already know they are women as I know. In fact, I have a lot of my 'sisters' encouraging me to wear make up as to look like a girl more. See, that is the problem. I do not find the need to wear make up as to 'pass as a girl'.

I also do not see the whacky idea of smuggling tons of estrogen pills from Thailand and overdosing yourself with it to hell as necessary. On a contrary, it is dangerous. I do not see any trans sisters I know doing so except here in Malaysia. Here the culture for the sisters is to be the best, to be famous, to be the most prettiest as possible. But to do so with the extremes like hormones overloads? Botox and Collegen injections every month? Goodness, is being even more beautiful than normal girls the only objective in life for transsexual females, and in the event, even sacrificing health and long term grace of growth?

With the constant overfixation to appear as a wannabe beautiful girl, this is where the problems occur that scar our own faces from getting our due understanding and empathy from the society. A society that is already having problems separating the good girls and the bad girls, the transvestites and the transsexuals. Yet these 'sisters' crave for all the wrong things. This also causes the crave for money. It makes the world go round and it is needed for all the surgeries, operations and treatments needed for a transsexual. That is the birth of materialism in their hearts. Some to the extent of cheating tons of cash from friends.

Besides the obvious money cheating, and some who have the totally unnecessary need for prostitution, trying to seduce men is top of the list. It annoys not only my friends who are straight, but also me when I see transsexual wannabe transvestites or true sisters behaving like they are princess high and mighty, trying to pick up men. They think they are so darn attractive, behaving as if they are even better than girls. They think all men would be wooed by them, which is foolish considering most of these men would puke at their slimy attitude.

These 'sisters' try to walk as if they are afraid of breaking their heels, and avoid their hands doing even slightly tougher things to not risk breaking a fingernail. Even some who are working in pubs and shopping complexes, overdress in comparison to their female counterparts. They are more concerned with looking super good and to get a man good looking enough to display their ego-inflation than just being a normal living girl. In the end, their actions and lives are plastic, and dishonesty replaces the honour of just being a female.

I am sorry, but I do not wish to wear this rubbish. Society already confused transsexuals with transvestites. When some of these transsexuals and transvestites are hormone fukked in their brains by self overdosage into a constant craving for sex and beauty, their lifestyle would have the society equating these 'sisters' to me. And I, and many others am supposedly on a mission of education. They are destroying themselves and the very hands who are advocating for them. Yes, the society discriminates and most religious hypocrates are bigots. But are we must think, are some of us under the transgender umbrella adding the world's insecurities and sensitivities?

The woman's rights are not won by drugs. They are won by woman who worked twice as hard as men. Blacks got that rights by showing they are just as capable as their white counterparts in any fields. Transsexual rights would never be won by the constant potrayals by our transvestite counterparts as men pretending to be women, and the image of transsexuals as women with lose morals. Some lifestyles we live would only contribute to stubborn stereotypes most people have on us. Some of what we do as a minority, would affect others in the community.

To those who have choices, please live on the good options. Our fate may just swing to our favour, but it is in your hands. Remember that our futures rely on what choices we make. The better choices we make today, the better our tomorrows may be. Let us prove ourselves worthy of equality and respect. Earn friends on the right manner. And show to society we are not the freaks they think we are, but beautiful part of a diversed creation of God. It is time to grow up.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Real Rude Awakening: Edmund Smith's Definitions.

Before I start, I would like to point out two things that is mentioned in part of the mission statement from Real Love Ministry.

RLM is a non-profit, voluntary and charitable organization that works closely with the marginalized community, such as the illiterate, the mentally challenged, the deaf, people with AIDS (PwA) and the homosexual community.

The ultimate goal of RLM is to bring ‘real love’ or unconditional love into the lives of others. Love is real IF love is the element that motivates an individual into doing something good for someone else. In other words … it is always about WHY we do it - more than WHAT we do.

I am tired and happy. I just had a nice chat with my boy, and going to go back and sleep. Then, as a stroke of luck, I run into this in the Real Love Ministry website ( I know they are not going to change their unresearched misinformation campaign, but just in case they come to their senses and attempt eliminate the evidence of their uneducated presentation, I copied and pasted the page below:

I would not dwell too much on what he defines on gays, but I am sure they would highly disagree with some of the pure stereotypical picture painting like this:

Believes in the rights of living a homosexual lifestyle."

It is amazing how things like 'people wanting to end job discrimination based on sexual orientation' is not mentioned, and instead he paints the picture that these are just a bunch of people fighting to condone a 'lifestyle'. I am also certain the word 'lifestyle' is an insult by itself.

Edmund eats. They eat. Edmund sings. They sing. Heck, I am going to say this straight on the face. Edmund is married. They cannot. They want to have the opportunity to do so. That makes them pro-gay. And to Edmund, being gay is nothing but a life of lust, hence the use of the word lifestyle, which I really sincerely doubt.

In fact, with such depiction of reflection of sexual lust into his own gayness, it really starts to confirm the fact that the man was never gay, and really just a confused heterosexual who went into anal sex for 14 years of his life. I have seen gay men who do not like sex. So where is the 'lifestyle' is he talking about?

And surely, I would concentrate on more of his utter confused position in relations to me and my sisters:

One whose psychological gender is opposite to his/her biological gender"

A person who have had a sex change"

A person who dresses us as the opposite gender as a lifestyle"

Is something wrong with him? Is it his English? Or his simple mind creating another set of stereotypical definitions? I shudder to think this moment; a person calls me a transvestite, I ask him who says so, and he would utter, Edmund Smith!

The correct definitions are these:

Transgender (TG):
A term used to include transsexuals, transgenderists and transvestites/ Crossdressers.

Transsexual (TS):
A person who feels a consistent and overwhelming desire to transition and fulfill their lives as members of the opposite gender. These individuals have usually been diagnosed as such, by a psychologist or psychiatrist as having GID. Most transsexuals actively desire and complete Sexual-Reassignment Surgery. Transsexuals live or are in the process of living full time as the opposite gender, whether non, pre or post-op.

Transvestite (TV):
The Latin and clinical name for "Crossdresser". A person who dresses in the clothing of the opposite sex for fetishistic reasons and has no desire to transition.

Can we see the obvious differences?

I am a pre-op transsexual female, but to Edmund's logic, he is calling me, and millions of us worldwide, the word used to represent a group of men who have no desire to correct our physical gender with our internal gender, and just cross dress as a fetish lifestyle. He might as well directly insult all of us by calling us men!

He goes on to even contradict himself by his definition the umbrella terms transgender, that includes all of us that live within or without our gender roles, as if all transgenders are born transsexuals!

It also shows Edmund is a very lazy boy. All he could do was just google the words 'transgender definitions', and all the listings, even from Wikipedia, would give the accurate definitions to be presented in proper. But no! He had to cock up all these things out from his limited knowledge.

And in doing so, he that claims to help the 'marginalized' community would not be helping the most marginalized community in Malaysia, we the transsexuals; and there is no real unconditional love from him that is enough for him to just do a simple research that takes barely 15 minutes. It is just 3 words for goodness sake! Yet such glaring mistakes in meanings!

Let us read now the mission statements from them again:

RLM is a non-profit, voluntary and charitable organization that works closely with the marginalized community, such as the illiterate, the mentally challenged, the deaf, people with AIDS (PwA) and the homosexual community.

The ultimate goal of RLM is to bring ‘real love’ or unconditional love into the lives of others. Love is real IF love is the element that motivates an individual into doing something good for someone else. In other words … it is always about WHY we do it - more than WHAT we do.

So WHY are they (Edmund) doing this total garbage story telling? God knows and He will judge.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Unhealthy Heterosexual Lifestyle: Pastor Ho Yeow Sun Makes Asian Sexy Good In The US.

Ah yes! The super sexy heterosexual lifestyle is so good and ever ready to be flaunted, even by a former pastor who is now a 37-year old hip swinging sensation!

This self proclaimed 'geisha' was a former pastor of City Harvest Church, Singapore (which she later vehemently denied, even though most Singaporeans seemed to have warmed up to her as a the 'singing pastor'. Yes dears, being heterosexual and flaunting it with your butt gives you a license to lie).

She and her husband, Reverend Dr Kong Hee, built an empire of a church:

Still, she is a hot heterosexual Christian cookie as she hollered out with a Asian Beyonce twist on da floor. And she even wants to get more sexier!

Better yet... City Harvest Church is promoting her name and albums!....

This is the video link. Gosh! I am speechless! I wish I could pull off those moves!

Here are some biography listings about her:

An interview with her with more of her pics is available at the next link. With these kinds of responses from her here, it is really difficult to believe she was once a shepard of a flock of tenths of thousands of members!

You see, heterosexuals are the superior sexual orientation (as proclaimed by Christians), so when nice homosexuals hold hands, it is a no no. But when you are a Christian and trained in a Bible college, you can revel in your hetero-SEXUALITY! It is a passport to sexiness freedom!

Yuki's choice reading:

These are the selection of reactions about Pastor Sun Ho @ Pastor Ho Yeow Sun from several blogsites in Singapore. We all can agree one thing. She is a bad example to young Christians, a hell of a worldly Christian and a shame to Christianity the religion.

But who cares, when you are living a heterosexual lifestyle!

Yuki's Funnies: The Ex-Gay Reparative Therapy.

Do you know what the ex-gay lifestyle is like? Parroting comedy is one of them. Here is one fine example. This is real, and really funny! Courtesy of (

Starring- Richard Cohen (from NARTH and PFOX)

From The Daily Show:

I wonder, is this what paranoid parents are subjecting their children to? Please!

Yuki's thoughts: With all the talk about what causes homosexuals, I wonder what causes ex-gays.

I believe it is:

The self issue- No self acceptance or letting external sources define one's self.
The vacuum issue- Society's discrimination, hatred, intolerace, prejudice and stigma.
The barrier issue - Confused heterosexuals or bisexuals who do not know who they are.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

The Journey.

Many who have followed my blog here would realise I have not been posting as regularly as I did previously. That is because, incredible and surprising developments had surfaced into my life, and with it; faith, hope and love. The kind that we always read about in 1 Corinthians 13. I believe I have found my life partner, a person to be with, to love and to be loved, that I had been seeking for so long.

It came at a time I had been tired of relationships, one by one it seems to crumble before me. And not men one can win my heart. Not one that would make me a better girl, all of them only left me with more bruises, pains and scars in my heart and my mind, so deep than anyone can possibly imagine. But that is in the past. Now, at every dawn I wake up too, somewhere out there, my true love is waiting. My true reflection. My refining fire and soothing ice to my aching heart and tormented soul.

I may have finally found someone to share my life with. Not that I would stop what I am doing though, but I am quite tied up with some silent goodbyes, returning people's loans, settling with banks and service providers, planning for medical check-up, going back to my hometown Ipoh, then to Thailand, then to Singapore etc etc... phew. A lot of stuff to plan and execute for the next one and a half months. And all provided for me by a sensitive, charming man. Yes, the Lord had provided me with a man.

I would probably be back to the average one post every two days which is my commitment here in this blogsite by December, a time I would be in a new place for two months with him, seeking to know more about this man, confirming my weary soul, washing away my deepest fears. And in Reflections Asia, I am waiting for one or two more authors for the site to get it alive and kicking. And he would be my partner and I am his, in combining our worlds together, advocating on behalf of our LGT brothers and sisters.

I am still trying to finish part two of 'When The Real Love Ministry Is Confused', and part three of 'The Bible Says So', for both blog sites. By the hits I have been getting for both topics, I believe everyone all around the world are ready for more. And where am I going? I do not wish to be secretive about it, but everytime I set my hopes it always seems to fall. So this time, I am keeping a silent hope. At every juncture, I will unveal something here. If everything goes well, there would be surprises for everyone, my parents, my TS sisters, my friends... and even Edmund Smith!

Nope. There had been a misunderstanding there, I had never been Edmund Smith's adversary, even though people commended me being one. I still owe a lot to him for further convicting and affirming me by his anti-transgender musings. In his negatives, I have found my positives. I wonder if he realise the impact he made in my life, so much so that I became an advocate for the LGT community.

In other words, if I had not met Edmund Smith, I would not have known about the dark world of the ex-gays and the musings of ex-gay ministries that is discriminative and prejudicial against transsexuals like me, the mind manipulation on churches by these biased ministries to incite hate and intolerance against homosexuals, and the use of political means by these groups to surpress the LGTs, even in Malaysia and Singapore. If I had not met him, there would not be a Yuki who would eventually be a counter voice. And stronger and stronger a counter voice I am becoming. So I am really grateful and thankful for him.

I will always be around here. Unless something drastic happens to me of course. But god willing, this blog will be the channel in which I will share my life in the coming years. But with all the mostly moody and sad posts, it is my hope that in the future, I can post positive and delightful happenings in my life, and also of the community around me. As I partake in these small and meaningful steps, and steps that may eventually lead me finally to a true direction in my life, someone awaits for me. And something tells me, this time, it is for real. YukiChoe, now has a boyfriend. She now belongs to someone. Let us see where Yuki lands on and ends up next.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Girls Like Us, Remembering Gwen Amber Rose Araujo.

We both like Gwen Stefani. We both like to party and have a love for the nightlife. We both have a zeal to live. We both are transsexual females. The difference? I am in my 30s and still surviving. Gwen Amber Rose Araujo, at the tender age of 17 was brutally murdered by four men who discovered she was a transsexual. If she was living today, she would be 22 and probably would have undergone her SRS. She was attractive and full of a youthful outlook in life. Yesterday marks the 5th year of her passing.

She does not deserve to die. I could be killed and tossed somewhere in the intolerant and narrow minded city of Kuala Lumpur, which revels in jurassic mentality, and no one would care, not even my parents. It would be common. But she hails from a tolerant culture full of diversity of San Fransisco Bay Area's friendly neighbourhood, where everyone cares for one another and she has strong emotional support from her family and some friends, in a country known for a strong democracy, giving that wee bit of breathing space for girls like us. It seems like a nightmare. It just cannot happen but it did. If there is one transsexual female that could have made it in life it is her. No, she does not deserve what happened to her.

That very night five years ago, was a girl. She was ready to rock the town. Eager to party. As any young girl would. We see the girl in Gwen, on fire and living with passion. She was never a boy. A car with a group of men stopped by and ask her if she wants a ride. She says she wants to party. It was a girl responding to a bunch of creeps wanting to take advantage. She already is in a some sexual relationship with some of them. They were all friends.

It takes one jealous girl to vent her frustrations of being less pretty than Gwen. The girl was believed to have forcefully checked on Gwen's genitals. The girl opened her big mouth in front of the four men about Gwen, and then it began; the horrific death sentence executed by these four men. For a good five hour plus, in a supreme moronic merciless act, Gwen Araujo was kicked, punched, hit by hard objects (frying pans, barbells, cans), beaten, knocked, kneed to the wall, strangled and stoned. She was literally tortured in those 5 hours. She died. After that, her body was tied up and was disrespectfully buried. It was then discovered a few weeks later.

The four dirty scumbags was then arrested. Everyone was in the state of shock. They just could not believe this kind of thing can happen in their neighbourhood. Interesting events then followed. The four men argued that Gwen deceived them, and their lawyer cited gay panic in defense. The ridiculous Reverend Fred Phelps led a group of 'Christians' to Gwen Araujo's family's house, mocking her and her family, claiming Gwen is going to hell and blaspheming all around Bay Area, annoying San Fransisco onlookers. Gwen's mother Sylvia Guerrero, had become an transgender activist, in order to make sure what happened to her dearest rose, never happens again. And Gwen was finally able to change her name from the male sounding Eddie, to the sweet Gwen.

What happened 5 years ago, brought up the good and bad in people. The sight of Sylvia Guerrero expressing her love for her daughter. The group Christians led by Fred Phelps claiming 'God's hatred is good.'. But at the most, transsexuals were affected. It was a wake up call to everyone, even to parents; such thing could happen to their own children. It is not funny anymore. No one would know what is in the minds of the four who killed her. But the common logic sense prevails, she does not deserve even the torture, let alone death. Nobody sane would wish this to happen.

There are also lessons for me to learn too. That no one knows what is going to happen tomorrow. However, we can be prepared for it. But we must be prepared to ensure that such intolerance be smoothen by correct information and education. The narrower the mind, the bigger the fear. People always are afraid of things they do not understand, and ignorance becomes the stance in them. Perhaps if people would just open up their eyes and see girls like us as who we are, then we would probably be given the room to contribute to life. In the end, we are girls. And Gwen will be Gwen.

Yuki's choice reading:

Sunday, September 30, 2007


"This is an extremely primitive and paranoid culture." (James T. Kirk on 20th century America, Star Trek IV)

Those who follow my journeys would have read the amazing clash of heterosexuality vs homosexuality on Christianity with Scott Thong.

I have also been having some conversations with the people at the Agora, especially on this old topic.

There are another three posts I commented on their blogs posted on 17th and 18th of August 2007 regards to homosexuality.

After several months of trying to get the brothers and sisters on both sides with me to a neutral ground, it seems the group from the side of pro-straight lifestyle (I never like labels, but I decided to use them anyway as they seem to find pleasure in still stubbornly calling us pro-gay lifestyles) in Malaysia would never want to come to that stage.

I have been accused of ad hominem attacks again, even though I have substantiated what I commented with cold hard and NEUTRAL facts, while they still continuously take sources that are from reparative therapy centres / transformational ministries and Christian sources, which is obviously already biased towards anti-homosexuality. Furthermore, as most who researched on ex-gay ministries and NARTH already know, their 'researches' are never peer reviewed.

Ad hominem - dKosopedia
In practical terms, an ad hominem means to reply to an argument by attacking the arguer's personality or credibility without citing facts.

To defend their pro-straight lifestyles they cited these:
About NARTH:

"In 1999, the Medical Institute of Sexual Health reported that, "Homosexual men are at significantly increased risk of HIV/AIDS, hepatitis, anal cancer, gonorrhea and gastrointestinal infections as a result of their sexual practices."

One Christian blogger:

About homosexuality bringing the end of evolution:

About disease claims, *(this organization is an affiliation of Narth)

To their credit, these sites are only biased by interpretation, but it is sad that they interpret here the cause of STI's to homosexuality, instead of risky sexual behaviour (no condom use, promiscuous sex life that also applies to heterosexuals).

I substantiated my counter voice with this:

About NARTH:

About homosexuality bringing the end of evolution:

About disease claims:
*A look down this site here would confirm is still under the Christian umbrealla wing. Look at 'Homosexuality' and 'Sexuality'.

While all of my sources are glaringly and mostly NEUTRAL throughout all, they have failed to supply more sources that are NOT of NARTH and NOT of Christian background.

I argued the credibility of NARTH with UNDENIABLE neutral facts but they keep pouring in information from NARTH.

I argued that STIs DO NOT come from homosexuality, but they INSIST that homosexuals are at a higher risk group for STIs.

And this is what they think of me:
(yuki has only been content with adhominems against one organisation, without dealing substantially with their findings, nor interacting with others who also have similar findings)

Another blogger would also probably felt what I felt when you read these comments regarding what me and the Agora was discussing.

"jemufo said...
like Yuki pointed out, hetero sex exposes people to the same STDs that gay sex does. in any case, the argument that homosexuality is wrong because it has these consequences, is a silly one. by your logic, lesbian sex is the way to go, because lesbian sex puts people at least risk of STDs. hetero sex is more risky than sex between two women.(not that I have any problems with lesbian sex. :p)

1:51 AM
Dave Chang said...
Jemufo, I believe u have missed the point here. The silly argument was actually advanced by PRO-gay lifestyle folks that since it hurts nobody, then it's morally acceptable. But, from both NARTH and *Non-Narth* research, they do have medical consequences. (yuki has only been content with adhominems against one organisation, without dealing substantially with their findings, nor interacting with others who also have similar findings)Even you wud admit that lesbian sex has risk of STDs (albeit less risk)... so by the *criteria* of progay folks, this behavior should be morally objectionable :)"

Their blatant arrogant ignorance on this is moronic, as they still turn a deaf year to what I or even Jemufo is saying. So I shall comment this, and see if they wish to respond in this space:

Jemufo, I believe u have missed the point here. The silly argument was actually advanced by PRO-gay lifestyle folks that since it hurts nobody, then it's morally acceptable.

So you are arguing from a 'moral' standpoint, but still none can answer me 'what the (beep) is so immoral about homosexuality? God says so again?

But, from both NARTH and *Non-Narth* research, they do have medical consequences. (yuki has only been content with adhominems against one organisation, without dealing substantially with their findings, nor interacting with others who also have similar findings)

:) It would be so easy to just quote, the most neutral of 'pro' sources even medically, but unfortunately for you, almost ALL my resources are neutral and never 'progay'. And unfortunately, this discussion itself is already evidence of ignorance and turning a deaf ear on facts by the Agora, and other 'Christians'.

Even you wud admit that lesbian sex has risk of STDs (albeit less risk)... so by the *criteria* of progay folks, this behavior should be morally objectionable :)

So then would you also admit that since lesbians have less risk then heterosexual men, and I did also pointed out in the Centre Of Disease Control site ironically, quoting them... THAT SOME WOMEN WHO IDENTIFY THEMSELVES AS WSW OR LESBIAN MAY BE AT RISK FOR HIV INFECTION THROUGH UNPROTECTED SEX WITH MEN. Should heterosexuality be more morally objectionable than lesbianity then? So who the heck is the official ad hominem producer?

Jemufo also provided this:

This is a simple but entertaining debunk of the general homosexual myths of our generation.

I would not hide my disappointment with the Agora. They tried so hard to sound intelligent and logical, but unfortunately the foot continues to stick back into their mouths. I really thought the Agora is finally willing to listen. I guess I am wrong. But what do you expect from college students who have barely set foot out to see the world, and only listens to other anti-gays?

My final response to them says all of how I feel:

Dave, I have urged you again and again not to use the inexistent word 'pro-gay'. I repeat again, asking homosexuals to be treated as equal human beings is not being 'pro-gay'.

If you 'love' homosexuals, would you assert your heterosexual superiority as having the opportunities like marriage and employment, and deny homosexuals the same benefits? Are you not even MORE pro-straight? Who holds the major bias then?

And I also asked you again not to use the word 'lifestyle', but I guess your mind is already controlled by the doctrines of the church that call homosexuals inexistent, that it is just wounded heterosexuality. And no one is going to change your mind, And you would still talk to your church members, straight friends and 'ex-gays' about homosexuals to be further 'edified' by the information they give you.

If you want to know a girl, you go and talk to a girl. If you are questioning about girls, you do not go to your football team members, guy pals and 'ex-girls'. If you do so, you will never know what a girl is. And as it is obvious here, you will never know a true homosexual. And still would choose to continuously talk about them, without them.

And about NARTH, look, if you are so confident with their junk science and anti-gay 'love' so be it. If you wish to cite their twisted as 'true sciences' it is your problem if you associate yourself with them.

Heck, so many members of NARTH already left because they wish to disassociate themselves, they would sure need new supporters like you. Go ahead, be my guest. I am sure you would not regret parroting their rubbish for the sake of defending the 'oh homosexuals is ya know, so darn immoral' argument; because that is the ONLY so-called medical body with only 1,000 members in the US to cite anti-gay rethorics, the rest of the current major medical consensus held by 477,000 members from several major medical and health professional bodies in the US are already rejected by you. Go ahead and support the narrow, since it makes you happy.

Guess I am already numb to shallow people that is not looking beyond their 180 degree eyesight. By the way, FYI no heterosexual gene was ever concretely discovered too. Can I argue your existence and why heterosexuals always divorce at a rate twice the amount of homosexuals then? Or should you deserve employment? Or worse, since there is no scientific basis for heterosexuality, should you 'change' then? There is always 'hope' for heterosexuals ya know, if you are STRAIGHT BUT NOT HAPPY?

Yuki's thoughts: I am transsexual and happy, but still hear Christian telling me that I am 'struggling' and 'confused'. Fine.

My struggles are because of these 'Christians' judging the surface of issues like me and homosexuals, talking like they know how we feel without filling in our shoes, and thinking they know more about homosexuality than homosexuals themselves.

I am a very confused and puzzled person as to why these 'Christians' are so naive.

Friday, September 28, 2007

The Bible Says So: Part Two (The Earth, The Sun).

Eartharoundsunophobia period: before the 17th Century:

One of the greatest astronomers of the world, Galileo Galilee was jailed by religious authorities, and because of his assertion that the Earth goes around the sun and not otherwise.

The statement released by the Christian fundamentalist group, who was conducting ‘research’ at that time called the Qualifiers, declared the infamous statement about the idea that the Sun is stationary: ‘Foolish and absurd in philosophy, and formally heretical since it explicitly contradicts many places the sense of Holy Scripture.’ God knows what would have happened if we had more of these ministries parroting more rubbish then.

“Joshua 10: 13
So the sun stood still, and the moon stopped, till the nation avenged itself on its enemies, As it is written in the Book of Jashar.
The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down for a full day.”

It is obvious here in this verse that the sun was a movable object that suddenly stopped in the middle of the earth’s sky. As we know now, even if the sun DID steadies itself in the middle of sky, it would have been the earth that could have stopped, not the sun. This was the Word Of God and cannot be disputed back before the 16th century. But are we ready now to stake claim that science is wrong, all the media is just painting an illusion of the Milky Way galaxy, and the Sun really goes around the Earth?

“1 Chronicles 16:30
Tremble before him, all the earth The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved.”

“Psalm 93:1
The Lord reigns, he is robed in majesty;
The Lord is robed in majesty and is armed with strength, The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved.”

“Psalm 96.10
Say among the nations, “The Lord reigns.” The world is firmly established, it cannot be moved; he will judge the people with equity.”

“Psalm 104:5
He set the earth on its foundations; it can never be moved.”

Four verses stated very clearly that the earth is firmly established in its foundations and cannot be moved!

The world, a gigantic spherical rock, is moving in two ways, all the time. It rotates on its axis based on the north pole and the south pole, and it goes around the orbit around the sun. The Bible cannot be wrong, therefore should we fear the kinds of science textbooks they are bringing home? Or are we willing to admit now that seriously some parts of the Bible is just not applicable in today’s time because it is only the inspired Word Of God?

“Ecclesiastes 1:5
The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.”

Here the sun is described like a terrier, hurrying up into the sky, then hurrying down, then hurrying up again. This is the obscenely coherent Word Of God. So are we going to start a ministry to teach about this now, and say that those who disagree with this fact are pro-science or ex-Christian, that are not telling the truth?

Or to put it Edmund Smith (Real Love Ministry) style:
Fact: The Earth is rotating and at the same time traveling around the Sun.
Truth: The Earth has foundations and is immovable, while the Sun travels around it.

Or how about another way of Christian conservatives talk; when we landed on the moon and saw that the earth was spherical and moving, it is an illusion created by Satan. We are blinded from the truth and the earth is actually still flat, grounded and not moving.

Well, it is the truth, as The Bible Says So!