Saturday, November 3, 2007

The Sisters.

We are doing ourselves no favours. Yes, I may always give my heartfelt love to those of us who struggle in our daily lives, to those of us who have commited suicide because of the rejection we all face daily. But I cannot help to think what if, just what if we had actually aggravated our own situations with our own doings. In our lives contantly living under the norm prejudices, have we ever thought that maybe it is we ourselves contributing to the lost of respect for our sisters?

A lot of my friends are so surprised with me when they started to know me as a transsexual female. They even told me how they cannot stand the others, and were surprised that I was not one of 'them'. I ask them for their thoughts, and I got really a heavy mouthful of condemnations. It seems that the rest of them trans sisters of mine do not behave in any likeness of a female, let alone a good human being or a sane creature. In fact, I share some of their feelings.

Seriously, I had come out of the closet again, and lived as who I am for the past two years. But I barely seen any real transsexuals. There may be some, but it seems that I am surrounded by mostly transvestites who consider themselves transsexuals just because they dared to operate and grow breasts, and some crossdressers who wants to pass as women to the extent of surgery. In fact, I identified most transsexuals actually exist overseas than here in Malaysia.

All of these transvestites in transsexuals clothing almost have the same habits. They want to become beautiful women. They are desperate to pass as as a girl. If they are really transsexuals, they would have no needs whatsoever to do so. Because they already know they are women as I know. In fact, I have a lot of my 'sisters' encouraging me to wear make up as to look like a girl more. See, that is the problem. I do not find the need to wear make up as to 'pass as a girl'.

I also do not see the whacky idea of smuggling tons of estrogen pills from Thailand and overdosing yourself with it to hell as necessary. On a contrary, it is dangerous. I do not see any trans sisters I know doing so except here in Malaysia. Here the culture for the sisters is to be the best, to be famous, to be the most prettiest as possible. But to do so with the extremes like hormones overloads? Botox and Collegen injections every month? Goodness, is being even more beautiful than normal girls the only objective in life for transsexual females, and in the event, even sacrificing health and long term grace of growth?

With the constant overfixation to appear as a wannabe beautiful girl, this is where the problems occur that scar our own faces from getting our due understanding and empathy from the society. A society that is already having problems separating the good girls and the bad girls, the transvestites and the transsexuals. Yet these 'sisters' crave for all the wrong things. This also causes the crave for money. It makes the world go round and it is needed for all the surgeries, operations and treatments needed for a transsexual. That is the birth of materialism in their hearts. Some to the extent of cheating tons of cash from friends.

Besides the obvious money cheating, and some who have the totally unnecessary need for prostitution, trying to seduce men is top of the list. It annoys not only my friends who are straight, but also me when I see transsexual wannabe transvestites or true sisters behaving like they are princess high and mighty, trying to pick up men. They think they are so darn attractive, behaving as if they are even better than girls. They think all men would be wooed by them, which is foolish considering most of these men would puke at their slimy attitude.

These 'sisters' try to walk as if they are afraid of breaking their heels, and avoid their hands doing even slightly tougher things to not risk breaking a fingernail. Even some who are working in pubs and shopping complexes, overdress in comparison to their female counterparts. They are more concerned with looking super good and to get a man good looking enough to display their ego-inflation than just being a normal living girl. In the end, their actions and lives are plastic, and dishonesty replaces the honour of just being a female.

I am sorry, but I do not wish to wear this rubbish. Society already confused transsexuals with transvestites. When some of these transsexuals and transvestites are hormone fukked in their brains by self overdosage into a constant craving for sex and beauty, their lifestyle would have the society equating these 'sisters' to me. And I, and many others am supposedly on a mission of education. They are destroying themselves and the very hands who are advocating for them. Yes, the society discriminates and most religious hypocrates are bigots. But are we must think, are some of us under the transgender umbrella adding the world's insecurities and sensitivities?

The woman's rights are not won by drugs. They are won by woman who worked twice as hard as men. Blacks got that rights by showing they are just as capable as their white counterparts in any fields. Transsexual rights would never be won by the constant potrayals by our transvestite counterparts as men pretending to be women, and the image of transsexuals as women with lose morals. Some lifestyles we live would only contribute to stubborn stereotypes most people have on us. Some of what we do as a minority, would affect others in the community.

To those who have choices, please live on the good options. Our fate may just swing to our favour, but it is in your hands. Remember that our futures rely on what choices we make. The better choices we make today, the better our tomorrows may be. Let us prove ourselves worthy of equality and respect. Earn friends on the right manner. And show to society we are not the freaks they think we are, but beautiful part of a diversed creation of God. It is time to grow up.

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