Darn it! I do not know who actually owns this relic copy of the “Gay Agenda”! It is either Steph Mineart or Jim Haungs! Eitherways, Yuki thanks them so very much for letting her have this latest dangerous show of homosexual propaganda! All you heterosexuals, beware! Hahaha...ZZZZZZZ....
I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Fallwell and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. Well, I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. It follows below:
6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 PM Brunch
2:00 PM
1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local Governments as well as all other national governments,
2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle,
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages,
4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels,
5) Establish planetary chain of homo breeding gulags where over-medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership,
6) bulldoze all houses of worship, and
7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.
2:30 PM Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest
4:00 PM Cocktails
6:00 PM Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
8:00 PM Theater
11:00 PM Bed (du jour)"
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Waiting For That Day.
It is now the 27th of February. In exactly four months time, aided and supported by an ever loving husband, and with tons of friends cheering me on; I shall embark on a journey that some have taken triumphantly, but many did not reach this destination. Some cited religion, others the fear of pain, but a good many gave the reason of the worry of being stuck in limbo identity wise as a consequence to it. But I without any hesitation, fear, and with lots of prayer, will be on my way.
The Sex Reassignment Surgery brings with it a new life. For me it is something spiritual, it is like coming home. Or as my friend joked of that Britney song in relations to me, 'I am not a girl, not yet a woman'; but all Yuki needs is not time, but getting the mutated growth out of her. Yes, my satisfaction would be all complete. I would have no shame in going to female spas, and I shall walk proudly out on the streets with hot pants and the T-back underneath it. My joy will be complete.
And with it a husband to share it with. I am removing a biological chastity belt and will be having a sex life with someone that had shown tremendous love, affection and sacrifice for me. I will be able to swim in a bikini or swimsuit without anymore shame. In some Asian countries like Thailand, having that 'thing' taken off is the symbol of coming of age into womanhood. I am finally alive.
Perhaps many do not understand why a person like me wishes to go for it. My Credo brother actually questioned me of my self acceptance. He said if I really accepted myself, I do not need to remove it. But I threw back the answer, something I was incapable of doing two years ago. I told him, that as I can never understand homosexuals 100% how matter I research because of the lack of real time life on it, he can never understand a transsexual. We just had to do what is right and just.
He reminded me again that I can never be a real girl. I beg to differ. With everything from my heart and mind motivations to God, to my psychological and human spirit, I had always been a girl. In fact I never even come close to being half of a boy, instead I had always been closer to who I am. As all the memories of people, from churches to friends trying to define a manhood into me subside, along with the decades of hurt; I am finally happy in my shell heading towards the future.
All the fixations of sex organs as a gender marker can be thrown away now as I am no longer confused. A man with two dicks do not turn him into a superman. A man losing a dick to cancer do not make him less of a man. A woman having being born without the ability to have a child do not make her a man. A woman having small breasts do not make her less than a woman. Likewise, the sexual organ I am getting is just an identification imprint below. I understand now that I am female.
With this huge physiological change coming in a few months time, I did a lot of reflections into my past life, the struggles of trying to be what people want me to be, letting people define who I am, even now at the midst of the comfort I have being myself these days. But I realised I am a much stronger person now and I do not need to seek people's attention and approval anymore. I do not need to live by anyone's standards. I will never let myself be intimidated by transphobics anymore.
Perhaps it is fitting that I finally got to watch 'Beautiful Boxer' on Astro Kirana. It is really an amazing story based on true events of Nong Tum. Although my life would never be so spectacular like hers, and I could not even jog for more than 5 rounds around the park (let alone deliver knock out Muay Thai punches like her); everyone of us transsexuals would have our own stories to tell, lives to live, stuffs to face. All of us are going through dangers in our lives but we must hang on.
I am looking forward so much to the 'cutting' point of my transition. By the long winded tone of this post you should know I am thrilled to bits. Of course I could never imagine the impact of waking up realising the abnormal growth is gone, or even the pain that might ensue. I am hoping to get internet access at the hospital and hotel so that I could have a daily updates of what is happening an keep my writing up to date. In the meantime; my heartful thanks for those who had accepted the lady I am.
The Sex Reassignment Surgery brings with it a new life. For me it is something spiritual, it is like coming home. Or as my friend joked of that Britney song in relations to me, 'I am not a girl, not yet a woman'; but all Yuki needs is not time, but getting the mutated growth out of her. Yes, my satisfaction would be all complete. I would have no shame in going to female spas, and I shall walk proudly out on the streets with hot pants and the T-back underneath it. My joy will be complete.
And with it a husband to share it with. I am removing a biological chastity belt and will be having a sex life with someone that had shown tremendous love, affection and sacrifice for me. I will be able to swim in a bikini or swimsuit without anymore shame. In some Asian countries like Thailand, having that 'thing' taken off is the symbol of coming of age into womanhood. I am finally alive.
Perhaps many do not understand why a person like me wishes to go for it. My Credo brother actually questioned me of my self acceptance. He said if I really accepted myself, I do not need to remove it. But I threw back the answer, something I was incapable of doing two years ago. I told him, that as I can never understand homosexuals 100% how matter I research because of the lack of real time life on it, he can never understand a transsexual. We just had to do what is right and just.
He reminded me again that I can never be a real girl. I beg to differ. With everything from my heart and mind motivations to God, to my psychological and human spirit, I had always been a girl. In fact I never even come close to being half of a boy, instead I had always been closer to who I am. As all the memories of people, from churches to friends trying to define a manhood into me subside, along with the decades of hurt; I am finally happy in my shell heading towards the future.
All the fixations of sex organs as a gender marker can be thrown away now as I am no longer confused. A man with two dicks do not turn him into a superman. A man losing a dick to cancer do not make him less of a man. A woman having being born without the ability to have a child do not make her a man. A woman having small breasts do not make her less than a woman. Likewise, the sexual organ I am getting is just an identification imprint below. I understand now that I am female.
With this huge physiological change coming in a few months time, I did a lot of reflections into my past life, the struggles of trying to be what people want me to be, letting people define who I am, even now at the midst of the comfort I have being myself these days. But I realised I am a much stronger person now and I do not need to seek people's attention and approval anymore. I do not need to live by anyone's standards. I will never let myself be intimidated by transphobics anymore.
Perhaps it is fitting that I finally got to watch 'Beautiful Boxer' on Astro Kirana. It is really an amazing story based on true events of Nong Tum. Although my life would never be so spectacular like hers, and I could not even jog for more than 5 rounds around the park (let alone deliver knock out Muay Thai punches like her); everyone of us transsexuals would have our own stories to tell, lives to live, stuffs to face. All of us are going through dangers in our lives but we must hang on.
I am looking forward so much to the 'cutting' point of my transition. By the long winded tone of this post you should know I am thrilled to bits. Of course I could never imagine the impact of waking up realising the abnormal growth is gone, or even the pain that might ensue. I am hoping to get internet access at the hospital and hotel so that I could have a daily updates of what is happening an keep my writing up to date. In the meantime; my heartful thanks for those who had accepted the lady I am.
Friday, February 22, 2008
The Turnaround Of The Season.
Three weeks passed by so quickly on this Chinese New Year 2008 season, and visions of all past Chinese New Years haunted me this year. Those were happier times then; my friends were around, there are 'red packets' to get, we went gambling together house to house, we went to pubs. But after coming out as who I am, though there were happy times throughout the festivities, this is one season I rather forget, especially when it is worse than last year's heartbreaking mediocre affair.
My diet plan went bust after I dragged myself to the outpatient clinic at Kelana Jaya Medical Centre for liver inflammation and gastric. Thanks to that, my weight is not going to go down anytime soon now. With great dismay I had gained another kilo, and stuck with a sick liver that will take at least another three weeks to heal. With my birthday coming up in a month's time, this means of course I would probably still have this almost 80kg plus frame going into the 32nd year of my lifetime.
My parents are still not accepting of me. Not that I am bothered, but in the end in our lifetime we would only have one set of parents. I love them, even though they feel shame that their 'son' had become their daughter. They are afraid that their neighbours would find out and start gossiping. My friend told me in an Asian culture, a boy that 'wishes' to be a girl is a shame to the family. But I really wonder when is it a shame to just be yourself. Guess ignorance still breeds intolerance.
I am missing my husband in Australia. He had given me so much, a life for that matter, in such a short period in time. He is validating day by day my choice to marry him. Today, he even sms-ed me and told me how he wished I was by his side. In the turmoil of living in a society that just do not wish to understand transsexuals, I know I must go back to him soon. And I know he will be waiting in these few months for me to be by his side again. Our temporary separation had been hard on us.
I spend this season worrying about my car. It is a liability, but being an emotional creature that I am I chose to painstakingly protect it at all costs for its sentimental value. With my car, I had gone through so many adventures. I spent a good time between festivities trying to settle my summons and insurance, which took weeks, in order to get my road tax done. It was only finalized yesterday. Now I still have to wait for my friend the road tax to me, so there is more waiting to be done.
And all of the spending; giving 'red packets' for the season, rescuing a friend, summons with insurance and road tax for my car, my first HRT in months and others had burnt a big bad hole in my pocket. Not that I am concerned, because I still have my two meals a day and the occasional drink; but I really want to save money for any rainy days that may come. I had learned from past experiences of being totally flat broke, so being back to that situation is a real no no for me, ever!
Surely things would turn around, I told myself. Every since I started writing professional articles for Ex-Gay Watch, I find it difficult to maintain both my personal blogsite and Reflections Asia. Then, as fate would allow it, one of my lesbian friends dropped in to the Reflections site and now I may have finally found a writing partner. And I finally had the time to get this post done today. And today, the last day of the Chinese New year season, things just suddenly got better and better.
I hung out with Eddy, a good friend of mine who had been one of the core support for me. He had virtually seen me grow from the troubled young confused 30 something year old and blossom into the person that is called Vivienne now. He had commented this evening that I had come a long way, no longer being insecure and troubled in my own self anxieties and the hurt of having people define who I am. And the invitation to dine accompanied by his boyfriend, brings out a gigantic surprise.
His boyfriend knows someone that I had known for half of my life, amounting to 16 years. Holding back the tears, trying to be cool as I spoke to her after a three year separation, I am finally reunited to the first person I ever called my sister. She is the only friend I had in those year back in high school when I was still struggling with myself. It really feels ultra good to hear her voice on the line again. And I finally get to face her as who I am. It is like my entire nervous system had been healed.
Gosh, how things can change within one day. Life is really ironic sometimes. My Chinese New year season ended on a high note after all. Hope that you all had a beautiful Chap Goh Meh too. Ditto.
My diet plan went bust after I dragged myself to the outpatient clinic at Kelana Jaya Medical Centre for liver inflammation and gastric. Thanks to that, my weight is not going to go down anytime soon now. With great dismay I had gained another kilo, and stuck with a sick liver that will take at least another three weeks to heal. With my birthday coming up in a month's time, this means of course I would probably still have this almost 80kg plus frame going into the 32nd year of my lifetime.
My parents are still not accepting of me. Not that I am bothered, but in the end in our lifetime we would only have one set of parents. I love them, even though they feel shame that their 'son' had become their daughter. They are afraid that their neighbours would find out and start gossiping. My friend told me in an Asian culture, a boy that 'wishes' to be a girl is a shame to the family. But I really wonder when is it a shame to just be yourself. Guess ignorance still breeds intolerance.
I am missing my husband in Australia. He had given me so much, a life for that matter, in such a short period in time. He is validating day by day my choice to marry him. Today, he even sms-ed me and told me how he wished I was by his side. In the turmoil of living in a society that just do not wish to understand transsexuals, I know I must go back to him soon. And I know he will be waiting in these few months for me to be by his side again. Our temporary separation had been hard on us.
I spend this season worrying about my car. It is a liability, but being an emotional creature that I am I chose to painstakingly protect it at all costs for its sentimental value. With my car, I had gone through so many adventures. I spent a good time between festivities trying to settle my summons and insurance, which took weeks, in order to get my road tax done. It was only finalized yesterday. Now I still have to wait for my friend the road tax to me, so there is more waiting to be done.
And all of the spending; giving 'red packets' for the season, rescuing a friend, summons with insurance and road tax for my car, my first HRT in months and others had burnt a big bad hole in my pocket. Not that I am concerned, because I still have my two meals a day and the occasional drink; but I really want to save money for any rainy days that may come. I had learned from past experiences of being totally flat broke, so being back to that situation is a real no no for me, ever!
Surely things would turn around, I told myself. Every since I started writing professional articles for Ex-Gay Watch, I find it difficult to maintain both my personal blogsite and Reflections Asia. Then, as fate would allow it, one of my lesbian friends dropped in to the Reflections site and now I may have finally found a writing partner. And I finally had the time to get this post done today. And today, the last day of the Chinese New year season, things just suddenly got better and better.
I hung out with Eddy, a good friend of mine who had been one of the core support for me. He had virtually seen me grow from the troubled young confused 30 something year old and blossom into the person that is called Vivienne now. He had commented this evening that I had come a long way, no longer being insecure and troubled in my own self anxieties and the hurt of having people define who I am. And the invitation to dine accompanied by his boyfriend, brings out a gigantic surprise.
His boyfriend knows someone that I had known for half of my life, amounting to 16 years. Holding back the tears, trying to be cool as I spoke to her after a three year separation, I am finally reunited to the first person I ever called my sister. She is the only friend I had in those year back in high school when I was still struggling with myself. It really feels ultra good to hear her voice on the line again. And I finally get to face her as who I am. It is like my entire nervous system had been healed.
Gosh, how things can change within one day. Life is really ironic sometimes. My Chinese New year season ended on a high note after all. Hope that you all had a beautiful Chap Goh Meh too. Ditto.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Yuki's Funnies: The Gay Agenda... Everybody has one... Get yours today.... ! (1)
Yes... the Gays are out to destroy civilization! Each and every gay has an agenda against the hetero civilization... It cannot be stopped. Har Har Har.... (Cough cough. Gosh, my gay agenda of the day in this sauna is getting steaming humid).
It is true! The Gay Agenda is ever so close to its formation and execution, even at Singapore!
Pleinelune, off Sayoni Speaks:
It is true! The Gay Agenda is ever so close to its formation and execution, even at Singapore!
Pleinelune, off Sayoni Speaks:
I’m going to let you guys in on a secret: all the rumours about the Gay Agenda are absolutely true. Every last word. In my hands I have the Masterplan of the Gay Community, otherwise known as Gaytopia 2050, hardcopy edition. I’ve obtained these plans from the headquarters of Homopolis, located somewhere in between the end of the rainbow and the pot of gold. It wasn’t easy sneaking it out, as I had to get past a couple of flamboyant queens who insisted on giving me makeup tips, and a whole army of dancing gay men who wouldn’t let me pass until I Flaunted it. And then there was the perilous trip across the oily and slippery room of diesel dykes, and the final barrier: walking through the Hall of Decadence.
Before the queens in high heels descend on me with their featherboas, I am going to give you all a sneakpeak in to the Masterplan, planned to the second, till 2050.
Top Ten Goals to be achieved by 2050
- Outlaw straight sex - heterosexuality is an affront to our morals and repugnant to a small minority of society who insists on stripping other people of their rights in order to feel good about themselves, even though their rights are not affected.
- Outlaw straight marriage - straight people will destroy the institution of marriage with their rising divorce rates, partner abuse, adultery, exploitation of children, sexual violence against women and children [what if fathers rape their daughters?!]. It is not safe for our children to grow up in a stable two-parent household, even though they are loving and caring, because it is inherently bad for them to have parents of different sexes. There are no studies to prove this, but it is true because we say so!
- Anyone who admits he or she is straight will be discharged from the army, and made ineligible to donate blood. Even though, really, orientation has nothing do with either of these things, but who cares?
- Encourage a culture of intolerance, where parents disown straight children if they ever come out to you. It is always shameful when your child grows up to be a healthy productive individual in society but isn’t fucking whom you want him to fuck. If technology is advanced enough, find the straight gene and abort straight foetuses before birth. Better yet, manipulate their genes in-utero.
- Make it compulsory to dismiss straight individuals in high-ranking positions in the government and MNCs, because apparently the thought of them fucking someone of the opposite sex is too much to bear for the people who interact with them or work under them.
- Dismiss straight teachers - they might prey on the children!
- Make life hell for straight activists. Monitor their activities, and ban their events, especially if they involve picnics, a run, or an exhibition.
- Slap R21 ratings on movies which dare to suggest that straight people are happy and normal too. Or ban them completely. Tell the media they are not supposed to print or show anything which “celebrates” heterosexuality.
- Send straight people into rehabilitation camps, where they will learn to renounce their abnormal heterosexual tendencies and learn to love people of the same sex, the way they were always intended to. Who cares if this damages them for life? The important thing is that we dictate whom people are allowed to love.
- Allow straight people to live in peace provided that they do nothing to reclaim the rights they are entitled to, so that we can get their money.
Top Five Ways to Impose our “Culture” on everyone else
- Outlaw croc shoes - no one should be wearing that horrible excuse for footwear, which look more like pieces of Hannibal’s mask cut and dyed.
- Make gym membership compulsory for all men upon reaching the age of 18. National Service just doesn’t cut it, in keeping our men fit! Plus there is no danger of mosquito bites in a gym.
- Make it compulsory for all kids to learn Madonna songs by heart from primary 3 onwards.
- Force employers to give emergency paid leave based on “my-girlfriend’s-ex-threw-a-drink-in-her-face-at-a-bar-its-all-lesbian-drama-gotta-go”.
- Make U-hauls compulsory - no couples shall date for more than 3 days before getting into a relationship and moving in.
Oh no the queens are knocking on the door… I have to run!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Yuki's Movie Review: Cloverfield.
Warning: Spoilers Proudly On Display.
Cloverfield was probably one of the movies I had earmarked to watch this year. I saw the awesome shocking trailer online, and at the time it was a mysterious film, with no title given out for the movie. The only hint we had was that it was a JJ Abrams produced movie, but the sight of a giant gust of fire and the sudden decapitated head of the Statue Of Liberty landing awkwardly on the streets of New York is enough to get any movie observer curious about what the movie is all about.One thing I do not understand is why it had to be New York. This is, like, the second movie setting New York as the city for annihilation (I am sure Will Smith's “I Am Legend”'s vampire/zombie ravaged New York still comes to mind) this year. New York... but as a city for disaster strikes? Yikes... is everyone still having a hangover of 9/11? I sure miss the romance and splendour of that city, with its melancholic mood all around. Where are all the movies like “You've Got Mail”?
Anyway, back to the movie. Cloverfield (untitled at the time) was the presumed to be a movie about a gigantic robot, with everyone thinking it was Voltron. Then when producer JJ Abrams hinted at it being an American monster, it then had everyone guessing again at what kind of monster it could be. Before the name Cloverfield, the movie was supposed to be named “Slusho”, but the curiousity once the movie name came out made Cloverfield the permanent name, but still plays into the hype.
Cloverfield is about the journey of five people Rob, his brother Jason with his girlfriend Lily, Rob's best friend Hud and the girl he admires Marlena; on the rescue of apple of Rob's affection, Beth (Actually, that is what the synopsis said but technically, it is four because Jason died before the rescue mission begins). I have mixed emotions of the choice of little known actors for this movie. One thing, it makes it so easy to kill off all the characters. But the lesson of friendship is there.
But at what price? In the name of friendship, in order to rescue Beth, all of them except Lily died. Yes, all of them except one. It serves as such an easy backdrop for the monster (I suspect the original title “Slusho” actually refers to the name of the creature). They actually contributed to the body count. In the end, is it all worth it? No, because if it takes the risk of losing four lives to rescue one, it is a show of pure stupidity. Yes, because that is how we could get to see the monster in full.
And what slimy, disgusting piece of meat the monster is. I always believe monsters are not supposed to be cute. The American production Godzilla strikes me as too cute. The destruction of the city in Godzilla was cute. The way some of them 'died' in Godzilla, or nearly got squashed, was cute. In fact, even Godzilla's babies in the end of the movie is cute. The song 'Heroes' sung by The Wallflowers must be the cutest songs ever produced. And boy, yes, Matthew Broderick is cute too!
But there is nothing cute about this monster. This creature kills, to the extent one of the soldiers exclaimed, “Whatever it is, it is winning”. Amazingly awesome killing instincts, capable of releasing dozens and dozens of baby monsters capable of taking out even soldiers with guns. This monster is so haunting some of you may have nightmares about it. And because the movie is shot entirely on a video camera's angle it makes the movie so real, except for those with motion sickness.
But the definite star of the movie must be it. The 'Video Camera'! It lasts so long to tell the tale. I counted probably more than 15 hours of battery, and tape. And you know what, the 'Video Camera' is so robust; it is flung here and there, got hit several times, smashed to the ground, dragged all over the place, got into a pile of rocks after a bomb blast, and it is still functioning properly! Surely, we must know the brand this 'Video Camera' is. It must be one of the most incredible ones in the world!
Overall, I find 'Cloverfield', positively one of the more entertaining movies of this year. The camera angle conveys a sense of realism to the whole movie. And you can literally grow with the characters of this movie (to the point they died of course). But you do feel for the friends. But I do think they could have done more for the ending. The identity of the monster, and the fate of the monster or the city, is not revealed in the end, leaving audiences feeling unfulfilled. I give it a rating 3.5 out of 5.
Yuki's Choice Reading: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloverfield
Saturday, January 26, 2008
My Mission To Quit Smoking And Lose Weight (The Beginning).
Quitting is still, in English terms, a present continuous tense (correct me if I am wrong). Yesterday, on the 25th of January 2008 at 9am, yours truly smoked her last cigarette (serious!), so this is a quit. Yep, I abused this body for a solid 7 years and more with a stick made out of paper and tobacco that burns and produces nicotine with tar, sucking it in by 20, sometimes 40 sticks a day; that my lungs sometimes refuse to absorb oxygen in. I have been preparing for this moment since the new year.
I am also trying to lose weight. I now stand at 175 cm tall, but according to my home scale, I am overweight. I am currently 78kg. I remembered a few months ago when I did my medical checkup I was more lighter then. But coming back from Australia to Malaysia, my mouth went berserk, dining on all the food that have been deprived from me. Yes, I miss Malaysian food. I miss all the Bah Kut Teh, the steaming Sweet & Sour Rice, the incomparable Chee Cheong Fun and Chow Kuey Teow.
I am now on a 6 week mission that should end on the 7th of March 2008, two weeks and two days shy of my 32nd birthday eve. In these six weeks, I would be attempting to reduce my weight to under 59kg, and not take a single cigarette until the withdrawal symptoms had passed and I do not need to smoke anymore. I will going on a protein and exercise mode to burn calories and clear out my lungs from nicotine faster. There would also be few days of starvation diet (not advisable to follow me).
I will be recording my progress here on my site. I should be doing the starvation diet intensely on Monday till Friday next week. In these five days I would not take anything but water. If I do feel very hungry I would just take drinks like Tomato juices or Milo to fill up my energy levels. Also, I would be taking only minimal food throughout the six weeks, concentrating on foods with less calories but lots of protein like tunas, eggs and chicken. I will also be taking in lots of vegetables.
There would be a chance of a small collapse in terms of the smoking, but I must stop totally exactly four weeks before 6th March 2008, in which four weeks is the period required for a person to be rid of nicotine from the body, one of the things that creates the 'urge' to smoke. I have not been drinking much, except for red wines in cafes, therefore the places that I have the habit of smoking is avoided; my strong habits to smoke in pubs should be controlled down to a more comfortable level.
Reporting how I feel right now, I am tired and facing withdrawal symptoms, I am more easily irritated then before. I feel tremendously week and sleepy. But I noticed my face looks more fresh then yesterday. I have only eaten a plate of raw sushi with just two rolls of rice and some healthy salads, with chicken rice yesterday. Today I have eaten only a plate of mee with three raw boiled eggs and this afternoon a very small portion of rice with some vegetables, beans and a fish ball.
Weight today: 77.9 kg
Body fat percentage: 35.7%
Body hydration percentage: 46.4%
Cigarettes smoked this week: unknown.
Exercises done this week: none.
I will be making presentations of progress on my mission every weekend. With SRS coming in June, it is really time to quit smoking. And for the first time in my lady self, I really am dying to get the beautiful body that I have never got before. I have been spoiled by the habits of smoking and my love for food. It is time to be healthy. As the old saying goes, you are what you eat. And I do not want to wait until it is too late for me to quit smoking. Hope I could get some progress running.
I am also trying to lose weight. I now stand at 175 cm tall, but according to my home scale, I am overweight. I am currently 78kg. I remembered a few months ago when I did my medical checkup I was more lighter then. But coming back from Australia to Malaysia, my mouth went berserk, dining on all the food that have been deprived from me. Yes, I miss Malaysian food. I miss all the Bah Kut Teh, the steaming Sweet & Sour Rice, the incomparable Chee Cheong Fun and Chow Kuey Teow.
I am now on a 6 week mission that should end on the 7th of March 2008, two weeks and two days shy of my 32nd birthday eve. In these six weeks, I would be attempting to reduce my weight to under 59kg, and not take a single cigarette until the withdrawal symptoms had passed and I do not need to smoke anymore. I will going on a protein and exercise mode to burn calories and clear out my lungs from nicotine faster. There would also be few days of starvation diet (not advisable to follow me).
I will be recording my progress here on my site. I should be doing the starvation diet intensely on Monday till Friday next week. In these five days I would not take anything but water. If I do feel very hungry I would just take drinks like Tomato juices or Milo to fill up my energy levels. Also, I would be taking only minimal food throughout the six weeks, concentrating on foods with less calories but lots of protein like tunas, eggs and chicken. I will also be taking in lots of vegetables.
There would be a chance of a small collapse in terms of the smoking, but I must stop totally exactly four weeks before 6th March 2008, in which four weeks is the period required for a person to be rid of nicotine from the body, one of the things that creates the 'urge' to smoke. I have not been drinking much, except for red wines in cafes, therefore the places that I have the habit of smoking is avoided; my strong habits to smoke in pubs should be controlled down to a more comfortable level.
Reporting how I feel right now, I am tired and facing withdrawal symptoms, I am more easily irritated then before. I feel tremendously week and sleepy. But I noticed my face looks more fresh then yesterday. I have only eaten a plate of raw sushi with just two rolls of rice and some healthy salads, with chicken rice yesterday. Today I have eaten only a plate of mee with three raw boiled eggs and this afternoon a very small portion of rice with some vegetables, beans and a fish ball.
Weight today: 77.9 kg
Body fat percentage: 35.7%
Body hydration percentage: 46.4%
Cigarettes smoked this week: unknown.
Exercises done this week: none.
I will be making presentations of progress on my mission every weekend. With SRS coming in June, it is really time to quit smoking. And for the first time in my lady self, I really am dying to get the beautiful body that I have never got before. I have been spoiled by the habits of smoking and my love for food. It is time to be healthy. As the old saying goes, you are what you eat. And I do not want to wait until it is too late for me to quit smoking. Hope I could get some progress running.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Real Love Ministry responds to truth in extreme manner.
I have been waiting for this, but never in such fashion... Comments in bold....
"http://rlm.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/2008/01/dont_trust_this.html
Dont trust this transgender!
Attention
Churchin
Malaysia…
There is an individual by the name of Vivian @ Yuki @ Anonymous @ etc who is going international via internet to destroy the name and ministry Ps Edmund & RLM (www.r-l-m.com).
I have never use annonymous. I am proud to be out and I am known as Vivian Yuki Choe. I have nothing to hide, but as they showed here they have a lack of sense to discuss anything, then hide into their own dungeon of personal dogma.
This individual is a transgender (a male who believes that he is meant to be a female) who was once helped by Ps Edmund but became vicious because Ps Edmund refused to condone to his pro-gay and pro-transgender believes.
A transgender encompasses crossdressers and transvestites. A transsexual is a person chromosomnally, biologically, hormonally and psychologically defined in total opposite of the birth sexual organ in representation of the society's views on sex. Again, they refuse to do any research on the true definitions of the LGT scope, and instead prefer to invent their own definitions that are totally incorrect. I can announce that I have been diagnosed with 'Harry Benjamin Syndrom' with Gender Identity Disorder' by three medical professionals, as I explained in my previous post. But unfortunately, science of mental health and medical professionals are non existent in them as we can see here.
And the reason on Reflections Ministry opposing RLM as the opposite polar on LGT issues is already released in statement on this site. But as they show here, they have problems with reading information from sources other than from the creation from their untrained minds. They call what they do not read as crap.
http://yuki-thejourney.blogspot.com/2007/08/announcements-1.html
The creation of Reflections Ministry was only for the purpose of gay, lesbian and transgender affirmation for christians and non-christians alike. The ex-gay articles wing were not to be inclusive of Real Love Ministry, because I still consider Edmund Smith a friend in Christ's love, and in giving face to his older brother. But after he unleashed an anti-transgender rhetoric article as mentioned in the link, I feel Reflections need to protect herself from such attacks coming from a man who professes love for the LGT community, but had shown otherwise.
Vivian stalks the internet to see where Ps Edmund / RLM are mentioned. And like below – he will condemned Ps Edmund / RLM. Below is just one of the hundreds of schemes of Vivian. He is dangerous & definitely an instrument of the devil. What can you do?
We realise here now what goes on in the mind of the heads of Real Love Ministry. Unable to discuss intelligently what had been tabled to them, they resort to this uncharacteristic attack on me, calling all the true facts and sciences I presented from here as 'schemes'. I am proud to be called 'dangerous', I should be in the face of such tirades, but to be accused of 'definitely an instrument of the devil'? Wow.
1. Pray for him
Thank you. I am sure Our Saviour would know what to do.
2. Do not entertain him (many Christians are interacting with him – online)
I believe after reading such incredible act of non commonsensial response, the online community would know who to entertain.
3. Pass this email to everyone you know.
Thank you, please do so.
Real Love brings Real Life,
Very true indeed. And REAL LOVE Ministry should be taken into scrutiny.
Ps Amanda Smith (wife of Ps Edmund Smith)"
This shows exactly that Real Love Ministry has reduced themselves into a cult, even without any assistance from me. I have stated facts, after facts, again facts, and instead of intellectually discussing the information I presented from valid and authorative sources, however they still resort to this totally unchristianlike manner. And with such lack of security and 'real love'.
With this being the 6th or 7th post on Real Love Ministry out of the 77 posts here, everyone can see I have a life other than talking about them. I only respond when there are more marginalization, misinformation and misrepresentation in regards to the LGT community. As such, perhaps now the lesbian, gay, and transgender community would know now why I no longer regard Real Love Ministry as an option in regards to Christian help for homosexuality. Rather, this show of force would help the community to finally realise what RLM is all about.
Yuki's thoughts:
If I am ever killed by someone who believes I am an instrument of the devil and thinks they are doing it 'for God', because they preached enough intolerace as they showed here; I am happy to return to He who takes this burden from me. However, not my will, but His be done. And I pray God washes their hands clean from their tresspassing and slaughter of the hearts of me and LGT community.
"http://rlm.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/2008/01/dont_trust_this.html
Dont trust this transgender!
Attention
Churchin
Malaysia…
There is an individual by the name of Vivian @ Yuki @ Anonymous @ etc who is going international via internet to destroy the name and ministry Ps Edmund & RLM (www.r-l-m.com).
I have never use annonymous. I am proud to be out and I am known as Vivian Yuki Choe. I have nothing to hide, but as they showed here they have a lack of sense to discuss anything, then hide into their own dungeon of personal dogma.
This individual is a transgender (a male who believes that he is meant to be a female) who was once helped by Ps Edmund but became vicious because Ps Edmund refused to condone to his pro-gay and pro-transgender believes.
A transgender encompasses crossdressers and transvestites. A transsexual is a person chromosomnally, biologically, hormonally and psychologically defined in total opposite of the birth sexual organ in representation of the society's views on sex. Again, they refuse to do any research on the true definitions of the LGT scope, and instead prefer to invent their own definitions that are totally incorrect. I can announce that I have been diagnosed with 'Harry Benjamin Syndrom' with Gender Identity Disorder' by three medical professionals, as I explained in my previous post. But unfortunately, science of mental health and medical professionals are non existent in them as we can see here.
And the reason on Reflections Ministry opposing RLM as the opposite polar on LGT issues is already released in statement on this site. But as they show here, they have problems with reading information from sources other than from the creation from their untrained minds. They call what they do not read as crap.
http://yuki-thejourney.blogspot.com/2007/08/announcements-1.html
The creation of Reflections Ministry was only for the purpose of gay, lesbian and transgender affirmation for christians and non-christians alike. The ex-gay articles wing were not to be inclusive of Real Love Ministry, because I still consider Edmund Smith a friend in Christ's love, and in giving face to his older brother. But after he unleashed an anti-transgender rhetoric article as mentioned in the link, I feel Reflections need to protect herself from such attacks coming from a man who professes love for the LGT community, but had shown otherwise.
Vivian stalks the internet to see where Ps Edmund / RLM are mentioned. And like below – he will condemned Ps Edmund / RLM. Below is just one of the hundreds of schemes of Vivian. He is dangerous & definitely an instrument of the devil. What can you do?
We realise here now what goes on in the mind of the heads of Real Love Ministry. Unable to discuss intelligently what had been tabled to them, they resort to this uncharacteristic attack on me, calling all the true facts and sciences I presented from here as 'schemes'. I am proud to be called 'dangerous', I should be in the face of such tirades, but to be accused of 'definitely an instrument of the devil'? Wow.
1. Pray for him
Thank you. I am sure Our Saviour would know what to do.
2. Do not entertain him (many Christians are interacting with him – online)
I believe after reading such incredible act of non commonsensial response, the online community would know who to entertain.
3. Pass this email to everyone you know.
Thank you, please do so.
Real Love brings Real Life,
Very true indeed. And REAL LOVE Ministry should be taken into scrutiny.
Ps Amanda Smith (wife of Ps Edmund Smith)"
This shows exactly that Real Love Ministry has reduced themselves into a cult, even without any assistance from me. I have stated facts, after facts, again facts, and instead of intellectually discussing the information I presented from valid and authorative sources, however they still resort to this totally unchristianlike manner. And with such lack of security and 'real love'.
With this being the 6th or 7th post on Real Love Ministry out of the 77 posts here, everyone can see I have a life other than talking about them. I only respond when there are more marginalization, misinformation and misrepresentation in regards to the LGT community. As such, perhaps now the lesbian, gay, and transgender community would know now why I no longer regard Real Love Ministry as an option in regards to Christian help for homosexuality. Rather, this show of force would help the community to finally realise what RLM is all about.
Yuki's thoughts:
If I am ever killed by someone who believes I am an instrument of the devil and thinks they are doing it 'for God', because they preached enough intolerace as they showed here; I am happy to return to He who takes this burden from me. However, not my will, but His be done. And I pray God washes their hands clean from their tresspassing and slaughter of the hearts of me and LGT community.
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